The Gift of Frustration
Dear Awesome Woman,
I’m the last person to talk about the emotion of frustration being a gift, but something that happened one morning taught me differently.
I’d been working on a project for what seemed like decades and after so much work on it, it still didn’t feel complete. And I love when things feel complete. I love the satisfaction of checking something off on my ‘to-do’ list. It’s like the best feeling ever – such relief, expansion and joy comes from that sense of accomplishment.
But that morning, frustration reared its ugly head. Annoyance and anger washed over me.
Sitting at my desk, I made a decision. Rather than spilling that frustration out on those in close proximity to me – my dearest, innocent loved ones, I chose to do some self coaching.
I started with throwing my hands up in the air and doing a silent scream. Aargh! Ahh! I yelled silently. I flailed my arms about and shook my fists around.
Yes, I must have looked really silly. And my neighbor across the alley must think I’m truly insane. But I don’t care because I know that emotions have messages for me and I know that I can only hear these messages when I let that energy flow. So, let it flow, I did.
And then I took pen and paper and wrote what thoughts were circulating in my head amidst this heavy duty temper tantrum. The main ones I discovered were “I’ll never get this done”, “I’ll never get it right.”
Next step I did was to look up the emotion of frustration on Linda Kohanov’s Emotional Message Chart. The message in frustration is ‘the action you’re taking is not effective.’ The questions to ask are: ‘What is the block?’ ‘What can I do differently?’ ‘Who can I ask for assistance?’
Ahh – direction.
I used a few more coaching tools and heard an intuitive hit which was phrased in question form – “what’s being called forth from you now and for you to know?”
More soul wisdom poured forth with these messages:
‘Patience’ – respect for G-d’s timing, even in what is made known to you.
Breathe and Release an old pattern.
‘Everything is going to be alright.’
These messages were the gifts in my frustration.
Did I feel better? Absolutely.
Was my problem solved? Nope.
But my body and mind were calmer and in a better place to receive more inner wisdom. I felt guided and open to future sychronicities that would give me direction on my path to completing the blocked task. There was the sense of expansion rather than constriction.
And a few hours later, I did receive that wisdom and clarity.
I’m sharing this in hopes that you can see how important it is to listen to your emotional wisdom. When you feel an emotion – whether it’s frustration, anger, annoyance, sadness, shame and even joy – take the time to feel what’s happening in your body. If you’re in public, go to a restroom and notice the emotion as a physical sensation in your body – is your chest tight, your jaw clenched? Listen for an intuitive message. Write down thoughts if you’re able to. Definitely check out Kohanov’s Emotional Message Chart and become aware of the general messages of your emotions. They truly have gifts to share with you.
Curious how to access your emotion’s particular messages? Please schedule your free 20-minute complimentary Clarity call here and I’m happy to answer your questions.
