Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tip:
Dear Awesome Woman,
There is a lot of talk of boundaries lately. Boundaries to keep others out of your business, space, energy.
But it’s good to consider that sometimes it’s not so much keeping others out as much as keeping ourselves in.
What do I mean?
There is a quote from the holy sage, the Lubavitcher Rebbe, that says “You are where your thoughts are.” So the question is, where are your thoughts?
Who is allowing your energy to be drained, your place to be open to anyone and anything, your mouth to share your vulnerabilities with any ‘joe shmo’? Do you feel comfortable setting limits on your time, your place, your space, your energy and your ideas?
If not, then that is where the problem rests. And if the problem rests on you, then the good news is that you can be the one who fixes it. And even if it’s uncomfortable to set limits or say ‘no’, that isn’t the end of the world. Sitting in discomfort with people being disappointed, or even hurt by your limits is okay. Not comfortable, but okay.
There is a great book called “Emotional Blackmail” by Susan Forward. She shares an exercise of sitting in discomfort when someone asks you to do something (especially an emotional blackmailer) and you choose to say ‘no.’
So a good thing to ask yourself when you’re feeling drained, or someone has hurt you again is “Why am I getting enmeshed?” “What thoughts am I thinking that disrespects my limits?”
Your energy is precious, your body and soul are precious. It’s time to start treating all parts of you with care, kindness, limits, and boundaries. It’s awesome to give and be a giving person, but drainage only leads to resentment and the opposite of good health, so finding a balance is an important exercise in life. In Kabbalah, there is the flow of Chesed, which is ‘giving’, on the right side of the body, and the flow of Gevorah, which is ‘limit’, on the left side of the body. When these are integrated and centered, meaning both are used, you get the flow of Tiferes, which is Harmony.
Here are a few thoughts that can help you respect your limits and keep your body and energy Harmonized (I have these hanging up in my closet as a reminder for choosing good health):
“I do not need to rely on or open up to everyone—there are conditions.”
“I know that I don’t always have to do what others want, need or expect from me.”
“I can be kind and hope other’s feelings won’t be hurt. Sometimes their feelings will get hurt. I’m willing to release the need to try to protect others from getting hurt by hurting myself.”
“I can choose to give to certain people when and if I want to do so.”
“It’s human to disappoint people and let them down.”
“Sometimes I am happy and upbeat and sometimes I express negative feelings to others.”
“Sometimes I will share my problems and needs with others. It is healthy to be vulnerable and receive help from safe people.”
(some of these are from the book “The Disease To Please” by Harriet Braiker)
I send you blessings to flow with Harmony!
***I’m so excited to announce the first of The Empowered Woman Tele-courses, How to Dial Down Your Anxiety Without Meds, Drugs or Yoga! This will be an online course, where I’ll be able to share mindbody wellness transformation on a bigger scale, beyond one-on-one coaching and newsletters, enabling more women to benefit and lead more healthy, vibrant lives. Adding to the one-on-one coaching and newsletters, these classes will be a wonderful addition to servicing women’s health and empowerment. This five class course will be open to 4-6 participants to allow for personal attention and care, and I’ll be opening up the course first to my awesome email subscribers, before opening it up to the public. There will be a special rate just for being a committed mindbody fan!
More details to come and just know that the valuable information, mindbody techniques and somatic processing shared in this course will help you achieve Harmony in your daily life 🙂
Have questions? Looking forward to connecting with you! Use this link to schedule your complimentary Clarity Call.
With love and blessings,
Somatic Healer & Clarity Coach