Nip Compare and Despair in the Bud with this One Little Phrase
Dear Awesome Woman,
Never before has ‘compare and despair’ been at an all time high in society as it is today. With social media being such a strong presence in everyone’s lives, the old compare and despair that used to only nick us as we watched our T.V shows of Hollywood perfections and walked the halls of our high school and college campuses, is now brought home to us on a much greater scale—on our phones and computers all day long.
So what’s a woman to do? How do we stop ourselves from being infested with this horrific bug of thinking that everyone else’s lives, husbands, children, vacations, and bodies are better or more perfect than our own?
By saying this one little phrase: “Good for you!”
Yup, you look at your screen, at the friend who got a hundred likes for showing a picture of her fabulous new set of abs that she worked so hard for, or at the stranger you don’t even know with the pics of the kids who look so easy and happy, and say, “Good for you!” Out loud.
Feel the relief and expansion in your body as you utter those words.
And out loud is the way to go to help break the ego-snake venom of compare and despair. Because really your soul self is thrilled that someone is shining their light, their success, their joy. But it’s your ego self that can’t stand it. The ego that can’t stand anyone else’s light to shine, but yours—as if you’re the only human on the planet.
But even that is such a trick because your ego doesn’t even want your light to shine either. It can’t stand anyone’s light shining because it was created to block light. And so it does in a zillion different ways.
So, go ahead and try it. Next time someone is shining some light, don’t knock them down in your head by saying that their life isn’t really as good as they’re portraying, instead say out loud and point to the screen with your pointer finger, “Good for you!”
If you’re in public, say riding a subway or at work and you don’t want others to think you’re cuckoo, then just do this in your imagination. It’ll have the same effects because the mental mind and body react to what’s in our imaginations (ever imagine the worst case scenarios about a loved one and feel your mind obsess, your heart race, your stomach tense?—yup, that’s the work of your imagination).
And guess what? This little phrase works great to dispel your inner gremlins as well. When you’re being unkind to yourself and looking at your imperfections, say to yourself, “Good for you!” Good for you for showing up, good for you for trying, good for you for doing your best.
And you’ll see that when you say this to yourself, your mind will google the positive proof of that statement—it’ll find evidence of what you did right, the little details of what is working, and how your actions are valuable. How you’re valuable.
In Kabbalistic terms, this is called breaking the ‘kelipah’ which is the shell or skin of untruths of the ego self. When it breaks open, the beautiful light of your soul and truth shines forth, positively illuminating the world.
Needing an extra hand to really nip the compare and despair in the bud? Reach out and schedule your Free Clarity Call today. Let’s journey together to uncover your beautiful you. As a Somatic Healer, Clarity Coach and Writer, I help empower women to break free of unhealthy relationship patterns, whether in their personal lives or in their careers. This could be specific to the toxic patterns in relationships with Borderline/Narcissists or other controlling personalities.Through learning to trust the wisdom of their bodies, emotions, souls, and intuition, women discover a clear, healthy path to empowerment, vitality and joy. I also specialize in helping women recover from trauma, grief, anxiety, and physical pain ailments. For more info, please visit MiriamRacquel.com or schedule your free Clarity Call.
Sending love and blessings,
Miriam Racquel (Meryl)
Somatic Healer & Clarity coach