|Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tip:
Do You Believe That You Deserve Kindness?
Dear Awesome Woman,
Do you believe that you deserve kindness? Funny question, isn’t it? The reason that I’m asking is that I’ve seen far too many clients, friends, and even strangers who have people in their lives who treat them unkindly.
I also experienced this same kind of treatment until I made up my mind—and this is going on years now— to ONLY have kind people in my life. That means everywhere—at work, at home, on social media, and in my social circles. That very conscious decision changed my life.
And I know it can change yours.
You see, if you have unkind people in your life who are critical, judgmental, sarcastic, disrespectful, confusing, disregarding or degrading, then your body and soul are not happy. Your body registers every critical comment, unkind word, sarcastic remark. It gets a negative hit and stays in your cells until you’re willing to open up that pandora’s box and face the truth of that relationship. Your soul wants you to take action in shifting the dynamics of the way you are being treated. It knows that you deserve kindness.
I’ll share with you a story that just happened the other day. I was riding in an Uber chatting with the very friendly driver, a woman who I had come to admire thirty minutes into our trip. She had described to me her life growing up on the south side of Chicago and how she had decided a very different path than some of her classmates who had gotten pregnant out of wedlock at tender young ages—14, 16 etc. Instead, she had made the very conscious decision to be involved in sports competitions and enjoy her young life. She did say that at some point when she graduated that she had gotten in with the wrong crowd and had a difficult time, but then she straightened herself out, got jobs and found a loving partner. She was now in her late twenties, married and making sure of her partner’s commitment and her readiness before diving into the world of becoming a mom. I thought that was awesome.
We stopped talking when her phone rang and she took the call. Slowly, slowly her conversation got more heated as she appeared to be arguing with someone who wasn’t getting what she was trying to say. After five minutes she told the person that she had a rider in the car and that she would call back later. I was curious. Was this her husband, a friend or someone else? It didn’t take long for me to get the jist of what happened because as soon as she hung up, she began to vent. She told me this was her boss from another business that she had. She had been working with him for months and he was so demanding. He wanted her to drive an hour to talk to him about something and he wanted that today or tomorrow. She argued that her birthday was coming up that weekend and she wouldn’t be working. She was agitated and confused that he didn’t get her point, no matter how many times she said “no.”
She said “I had woken up in a really good mood this morning and now I’m so irritated and hurt. Why doesn’t he seem to care about my life? He was nice and praised me for the first two months that we worked together, but since then he’s been more like this. And last time he demanded that I drive out to meet him, everything could have been said over the phone.”
This Uber driver went round and round complaining that he just didn’t understand. I told her that I was a healer and coach and one part of my work is empowering clients to get clear in their relationships. Though I did not do a somatic session with her (not a responsible thing to do when someone is driving a car), I did point out to her what her mind was refusing to see. Her boss in truth did not care about her life, her time nor her. He was actually making that very clear. Oh. She got it.
We talked more and she realized that there were other companies that she could work for. She didn’t need this kind of person in her life—an unkind, demanding and argumentative one who had shown again and again that he just did not care about her feelings or her needs. Her mind and eyes opened to how much damage this relationship had on her spirit and mood. She had gone from feeling good to feeling really annoyed within five minutes. I shared with her information about the hormones that circulate through the body with the fight and flight reflex and the health consequences of that.
She felt the freedom in her body with recognizing that she could choose another work situation and thanked me for the experience we had together in which she was able to vent and get clarity on a funky situation. I explained to her about the circle of kindness I’ve chosen to have in my life and she agreed that that was a smart thing.
Not all relationships are simple to shift, but all of us deserve kindness. When you choose that not as an option, but as a requirement in your life, possibilities arise. You can incorporate boundaries, limits, and new healthy patterns in your relationships. And you can choose to end those that simply won’t shift. That is an intelligent decision and YOU ARE an intelligent woman.
Your body and soul will thank you for surrounding yourself with kindness.
Feeling funky in a relationship in your life? Or having pain in your body and not sure why? Your emotions, your body and your intuition have wisdom for you and together we can tap into what that is. I invite you to reach out today for your Free Clarity Call.
As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their body and intuition. Goal setting, relationship health, marriage tune-up, career decisions, Mindbody pain relief, trauma processing is all accomplished through an integrated somatic process in person or over the phone.Through learning to trust the wisdom of their bodies, emotions, and souls, women discover a clear, healthy path to empowerment, vitality and joy.
Miriam Racquel (Meryl) Feldman
Somatic Healer & Clarity Coach