The Most Important Message Right Now
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tip
Dear Awesome Woman,
So many of my clients are feeling the pain and grief of this time—not only on a personal level, but also on a global level. This is a time of pressure off and compassion on—for ourselves, our loved ones and the world at large.
The most important message that I can pass on right now are these very beautiful words from parenting coach, Ruchi Koval, “Oh honey, just breathe. It’s good enough. You’re good enough.”
Ruchi said these words in regards to her regrets around parenting. She spoke of wishing that she could reach back into time, give herself and her children a hug and say those words. Her top regret was not being loving enough. My heart melted when I read this. Whether you have children or not, giving yourself and others this message is so crucial right now.
Now is a time calling for deep compassion. Deep compassion for you, deep compassion for others and deep compassion for the world. Before the coronavirus crisis, there was a rush-rush feeling to life, accomplishing as much as possible on to-do lists—not just for ourselves, but for our children and for others.
Things have changed. With lockdown, there is only so much we can do.
STARTING WITH YOU:
1. Take a gentle breath in and release out. Whisper these words to yourself with your hand on your heart : “Oh honey, it’s good enough, you’re good enough.” And take a gentle breath again. Being super kind to yourself is going to decrease tension in your body which is always a health booster.
2. Do a sense meditation which only takes a minute: Close your eyes. Feel your feet on the ground and bring awareness to your breath moving in and out of your body. Throw your hearing out as far as it can go and listen. What do you hear? The fan, birdsong, the wind rustling? Then notice how your body feels in the clothes you are wearing, on the chair that you are sitting on. Then breathe in—what do you smell? Open your eyes when you feel ready and notice what you see. This little exercise brings awareness to the present moment which can be calming to the body and mind.
3. Take time for simple pleasure even if you are working from home. Take the time to do some simple creativity like collaging or water color penciling, go for a walk, talk with friends, listen to enjoyable music or read. It’s also okay to take time to do nothing—to allow yourself to lie on the couch and veg. Remember deep compassion is the call of the hour. For each of us that looks differently—find what works for you.
4. Stop “shoulding” yourself.
I recently wrote about Martha Beck’s Change Cycle (“Are You Drained, Burned Out and Running On Empty? It’s Time To Dissolve.”). Guess which square the world is? If you guessed Square 1, you got it right. The world is in a huge Square 1— a cataclysmic event is happening to all of us right now. Big time.
Square 1 is when, as Martha describes it, the caterpillar spins a cocoon and melts into bug soup. It totally loses its shape. For a human being, Square 1 is when an event has happened— a loss in some way—that propels us into losing our identity as we know it to be. We become formless. It could be that we even chose the event—by moving, changing jobs, getting in or out of a relationship etc. or it could be that something happened that we had no control over. With the coronavirus crisis, we have been thrown into a cocoon to melt and reform. We have lost the identity that we once had and do not know what one we will form. This is a time of grieving, disorientation and self discovery.
This is not a time to “should” yourself so turn every “should” into a “could” and feel the release of tension from your body when you let go and take pressure off. I wrote more about the health concept of changing “shoulds” to “coulds” in this “3 Tips..” newsletter.
RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS:
1. If you have little ones at home and are feeling stressed: the most important message right now is the one I mentioned above. Kindly say it to yourself and your children.
If your kids don’t learn a lot during these days and stay in pajamas into the afternoon, that’s okay. These are strange times and laying around on the couch doing mostly nothing is okay (for you too). Of course if outside is a possibility, then that’s great. Just drop expectations as low as you can and be kind to yourself and others. This I believe is the call of the hour.
Other ideas for keeping kids occupied are simple creativity, short learnings, playing in boxes, setting up obstacle courses from furniture and dancing to music.
2. If you have a spouse, now is not the time to bring up difficult issues. Or if you’re having difficult issues, now may be the time to get the help you need. My husband and I offer a Couple’s Workshop by phone. Here is the link to learn more: Recreating Intimacy Couple’s Workshop.
Otherwise, just be in gratitude and kindness. Let your partner know that you appreciate them. Let the love flow so that they also can feel that they’re good enough and what they’re doing is good enough. We all need to hear that now.
Please feel free to forward this to friends—to anyone needing to give themselves permission to step into a more compassionate space.
Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your free Clarity Call today. As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I help empower women to align with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom in their relationships, careers and health. Read more at MiriamRacquel.com where you can download your free eguide “3 Secrets to Solving Burnout and Getting Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way.”