Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?
At times, I really am my own energy vampire. An energy vampire is someone who drains your energy – whether it’s mental, emotional or even spiritual. After spending time with them, and it doesn’t have to be a lot, you feel exhausted.
Maybe the person talks endlessly about their own issues without regard for you as a listener, or is always negative and making themselves a victim of all their circumstances. All of us at times need to vent and complain, but energy vampires do this all the time in a relationship.
Or maybe they try to make you feel guilty or use emotional blackmail (Emotional Blackmail—What It Is And Why You Need to Know About It)to try to get you to do what they want.
Ahh, but I have discovered that I can be my own worst energy vampire. Sometimes, when I find myself drained and exhausted, I look around and it is only me in the room.
When I disregard a negative feeling after an interaction with someone and instead, give myself a guilt trip for feeling what I feel – that is me emotionally blackmailing me.
Remember, sensations hold information and feelings contain valuable messages. If I judge myself for what I am feeling instead of accepting and allowing the emotion and hearing what it is telling me, then I will feel drained.
For example, if a friend at the last minute cancels a long-awaited lunch date, do you hang up the phone and berate yourself for feeling disappointed? Or do you recognize the “ bubble-burst” sensation and hurt emotion and then allow yourself the gift of compassion for having been let down?
Taking a deep breath in and sitting with these feelings for even one moment is an act of kindness towards yourself. You can take time to notice whether the disappointment needs to be shared with the friend or just acknowledged within yourself as a rare occurrence in a trusted relationship. Or do the ROAR Process, a somatic release technique I developed specifically to help process and let go of grief, disappointment, anger, resentment, and trauma. This technique helps prevent emotional energy from getting stuck in the body and causing a whole host of physical ailments and pain (G-d forbid).
There are other times that feeling exhausted results from spending too much time imagining the most dreadful outcome of something that hasn’t even happened yet. This will suck the energy right out of you. All that negative thinking is so draining.
Yes, a circumstance may look bleak, but G-d is amazingly creative and the Master of possibilities. You can recognize that you’re fearful of the future, and vent that fear on paper, rip it up and release those thoughts to the wind.
You can also allow your inner child to have a temper tantrum or a fear-fest.
There are so many ways to process emotions and overwhelming thoughts so that you feel vital afterwards instead of exhausted (please schedule a Clarity call for more info).
Flooding oneself with a list of gratitudes for the many blessings that you have is also energizing as long as you’re not suppressing emotions. Bringing awareness to situations and people who you can be grateful for actually increases dopamine levels which result in uplifting your mind, body and spirit.
As psychiatrist, Dr. Judith Orloff, says “Take control. Get in the driver’s seat. Create a circle of positive people around you.” She is referring to external energy vampires, but this advice can also apply to one’s own internal one.
Take control by choosing to create a circle of positivity for yourself.
Allow yourself the time to feel all your emotions, not to necessarily act on them, but to feel them honestly without censor.
Process your fears and limit the time spent “prophesizing” the worst-case scenarios.
Be kind to yourself for being on this funky journey called life.
Grab some gratitude and notice blessings in your life. Never take anything for granted. What’s here today can be gone tomorrow.
Be your own best friend and kiss that internal energy vampire goodbye!
Need a helping hand? Schedule your free Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Clarity Coach and Relationship Expert, I help empower women to break free of unhealthy relationship patterns in their lives. This could be specific to the toxic patterns in relationships with Borderline/Narcissists or other controlling personalities. Through learning to trust the wisdom of their bodies, emotions, souls, and intuition, women discover a clear, healthy path to empowerment, vitality and joy. I also specialize in dating and marriage help as well as empowering women in their recovery from trauma, grief, anxiety, and physical pain ailments.
Here’s a free e-guide for you: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way”(also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”).
If you’d like more connection and fun in your marriage, download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!
If you’re dating, there are beautiful resources for you as well.
Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @Client Love.
“I came to Miriam looking for help recovering from a painful breakup with a covert narcissist that I’d been suffering over for far too long. I realized that I’d not only been struggling from my most recent relationship but also from my childhood relationship with my father, which I thought I’d dealt with years ago. I learned that I had energy stuck in my body from real traumas I’d experienced, which talk alone was just not able to process. Miriam helped me with real-time processing in my body and clearing the immediate pain, as well as healing the source of my unhealthy relationship choices, and gave me tools for compassionately helping myself when difficult emotions arise in the future, leaving me feeling stable and self-assured about myself and my future.” – T.H., Colorado
“I was referred to Miriam by a friend to help me gain clarity, wisdom, and understanding after exiting an abusive relationship with a narcissist. Miriam’s approach encompasses connecting the mind, body, and soul through a modality of techniques including discussions, deep thinking, and engaging the senses in a cathartic way. After each session, I feel revitalized, and I have a sense of calmness and peace.” – L.P., Connecticut