Don’t Rationalize Away the Small Stuff
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
Using the wisdom of your emotions is so crucial to your health and the health of your relationships. It’s so easy to use your mind to rationalize away someone’s “off” comment, little joke, or slight criticism. It’s so easy to declare yourself too sensitive or justify that the other person didn’t mean it the way you are taking it.
Do not do that please!
Emotions are presented as physical sensations in the body and are whispering messages to you. That drop in your stomach when you opened up to a “friend” and she says, “so what if your husband did that—don’t take everything so seriously” indicates to you that your vulnerability wasn’t honored. You’re disappointed and perhaps hurt.
That clenching in your jaw when your sister-in-law makes fun of how organized you are is telling you that you don’t appreciate being teased. You’re angry. Her comment touched a sore spot for you.
That tightening in your chest and rise of heat to your face when a co-worker looks at your shoes and comments that they aren’t so stylish is your body putting up armor, offering protection and also letting you know that you feel shamed. Not only has a boundary been crossed, but you feel belittled.
There is no reason to ignore these sensations of hurt, annoyance or shame. You don’t need to rationalize that these people didn’t mean harm or put yourself down in any way. You experienced what you experienced; you felt what you felt.
Stay in your body. Don’t leave it by making a detour into your mind. Notice the sensations these interactions bring up or have brought up for you (when you replay them in your mind).
When you get a chance for privacy, put your hand on the areas that reacted.
If it was your stomach that reacted, put your hands there. If it was your jaw, or your chest, or your cheeks, rest your hands in those places. If you’re in public , then just consciously place your attention on those spots using your awareness.
What you’re doing is allowing a flow of energy from these sensations. That’s great for body health. In addition, I’ve developed the ROAR! Process as an effective emotional release technique to free yourself from the harmful effects of built up resentment, anger, stress, trauma, anxiety and disempowerment.
In terms of relationship health, see if any intuition or clarity pops up regarding the people you’re interacting with. Once we are honest with ourselves by staying in our bodies instead of rationalizing with the mind, we can tap into intuitive wisdom. Sometimes there are limiting beliefs we’ve had since childhood that would be helpful for us to explore and sometimes we need to be less open with someone or communicate differently (especially with spouses!). My article, “Circles of Trust” has helpful info to guide you in having safe relationships and I also offer marriage help for those needing assistance.
When you allow your body to reveal to you what you need to know, you’ll clear out old patterns and can make positive shifts of change. But the first step is to stop rationalizing away the small stuff.
Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your Free Clarity call today. As a Somatic Healer, Clarity Coach, and Relationship Expert, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition. Stress as well as physical pain relief, trauma processing, marriage magic, Narcissist/Borderline-relationship detoxing, career shifts, dating, and goal setting can all be accomplished through Mindbody Soul phone sessions. The healing and answers are within you! Looking forward to connecting 🙂
Download your free gift eguide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web” ).
Also, see my new eguide, The Mindbody Wellness Dating Guide for Frum Women—Questions, Red Flags, Brakes, and The Good Stuff which brings the Orthodox Jewish dating woman into the wisdom of her body & intuition to highly discern the partner she is considering to share her life with.
**This eguide is designed for orthodox (or observant) Jewish women. If not applicable for you, my guide for secular dating is nearing completion!
Happy clients share:
“I reached out to Miriam Racquel shortly after I had just gotten married as my marriage was not turning out to be the fairytale I had always dreamed it to be. Within just a few sessions I began feeling so empowered to make positive, lasting changes in my marriage that I had control over, and the wisdom I have accessed through Miriam Racquel’s help has truly transformed my marriage into the playful, passionate one that I have always desired. I love the mind-body healing work that Miriam Racquel infuses into her sessions. These practices have allowed me to release my emotions in a powerful way and give me a great sense of relief, validation, and confidence to help me move forward with love.”
N.C.G., Atlanta, Georgia
“I came to Miriam looking for help recovering from a painful breakup with a covert narcissist that I’d been suffering over for far too long. I realized that I’d not only been struggling from my most recent relationship but also from my childhood relationship with my father, which I thought I’d dealt with years ago. I learned that I had energy stuck in my body from real traumas I’d experienced, which talk alone was just not able to process. Miriam helped me with real-time processing in my body and clearing the immediate pain, as well as healing the source of my unhealthy relationship choices, and given me tools for compassionately helping myself when difficult emotions arise in the future, leaving me feeling stable and self assured about myself and my future.”
More testimonials can be found here.