Pressure Off, Compassion On
|Pressure Off, Compassion On
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
We have not yet passed this time of global crisis and so many of my clients and friends from around the world are feeling the pain of grief and constriction. I had shared at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 that this is a time of pressure off and compassion on—for ourselves, our loved ones, and the world at large. That still holds true of today and even more so because of the prolonged tension of being in crisis.
A special healing is being asked of us now and that is the healing grace of compassion. It starts with healing from within because what we heal inside of us, radiates outward. When we give ourselves the gift of self-compassion it has the effect of burning off self-criticism, self-loathing, and arrogance. Our energy shifts and others can feel that warmth and love, which helps to heal their pain and grief as well.
I was fortunate to take a 10-week course on mindful self-compassion. You would think that you could learn self-compassion in under an hour, but no, this was an intensive experience with such enlightening information regarding the body and mind. “Both mindfulness and self-compassion allow us to live with less resistance to ourselves and our lives. Self-compassion is allowing our hearts to melt in the heat of suffering – letting go of resistance – not pushing suffering away.” Center for Mindful Self-Compassion
Having an understanding of the mindbody connection, I was able to understand the tremendous positive effects on the nervous system when even taking a few moments a day to allow for conscious self-compassion.
I’d like to share a favorite of mine and I invite you to use it when experiencing something difficult or triggering. This combines some mindbody/somatic techniques with a DBT practice (“DBT Made Simple” by Sheri Van Dijk), and the Self-Compassion Break (from the Center for Mindful Self Compassion):
1. Put your hands on your heart and feel your feet on the floor. Take a gentle breath in and release out. You can even bend your head slightly forward in this moment of sacred kindness that you will be giving yourself. You will be validating yourself on your experience instead of analyzing or ignoring/suppressing it.
2. Acknowledge your experience: “I feel …. (unhappy, sad, hurt, angry, frustrated, jealous, regretful or whatever emotion is coming up for you).
3. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel: “It’s okay that I feel ….” Give yourself kind-understanding: “It makes sense that I feel …, given the difficulties (challenges, circumstances) in my life right now.”
4. Notice what sensations come up for you—are there tears? Is there a heaviness or constriction in your chest, jaw, stomach? Just have awareness because noticing the physical sensations of emotions allows the energy to flow.
5. Take another breath in and release.
6. Validate yourself further on your experience by using any of these phrases: “This hurts”; “This is uncomfortable for me”; “I’m hurting”; “This is stressful for me”; “I’m scared.”
7. Recognize that others feel this way too—connect to humanity: “What I am experiencing, others have experienced too”; Other people struggle with this as well”; Other parents have been through such difficulties.”
8. Do a self-kind act for yourself—give yourself something that you need. This could be a nap, a call with a friend or practitioner, a massage, etc. Take some time for simple pleasure— a half hour of creativity like collaging or water color penciling, a walk in the garden, listening to enjoyable music or reading. It’s also okay to take time to do nothing—to allow yourself to lie on the couch and veg. Self-kindness looks differently for each of us—find what works for you.
Here’s two more suggestions that will help your nervous system be in a more relaxed state which prevents dis-ease:
—Stop “shoulding” yourself.
—If you have a partner, be in gratitude and kindness. Let your partner know that you appreciate them. Let the love flow so that they also can feel that they’re good enough and what they’re doing is good enough. We all need to hear that now. And if the two of you are having difficulties, now is the time to get help to better and strengthen your relationship. I offer sessions for women (schedule your free Clarity Call) as well as work together with my husband, Dovid Feldman, a licensed marriage therapist, in a Couple’s Workshop (over the phone) (Recreating Intimacy Couple’s Workshop).
Please feel free to forward this to friends—to anyone needing to give themselves permission to step into a more compassionate space.
Need a helping hand? I invite you to schedule your free Clarity Call today. As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to align with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom in their relationships, careers and health.
I welcome you to download your free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web” ).
I decided to work with Miriam Racquel because I was going through a time in my life when I needed to make a critical decision, and I kept going back and forth in my mind about what to do. I had lots of logical reasons to use to make the decision, but until I worked with Miriam I wasn’t in tune with what my body and emotions were trying to tell me about what to do.
As soon as I tapped into that and got clear about what to do I had such a sweet peace and relief and the decision was an easy one to make. Instead of feeling stuck and indecisive, I took action, and it ended up leading me to a place where I’ve never felt as at home and happy.
Thank you Miriam!
– J. H., Montana