Is Your Over Responsibility Making You Sick?
Mindbody Wellness & Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
I see it all the time. Clients and friends come to me carrying huge loads on their shoulders, feeling responsible for so much in their little worlds. And when we start to play with the idea of dropping some of the weight, they can’t imagine doing it.
Women overworking or working at a job that taxes their energy.
Women working at a job that they hate.
Women being on WhatsApp groups where there is pettiness, but they feel they must stay or someone will get hurt or judge them negatively.
Women having Borderline/Narcissistic friends who they fear disapproval from.
Women not having enough help in the home when they have small children.
We may not be able to imagine who we would be without so much burden on our shoulders, but we can tap into our bodies’ messages regarding what we are carrying. Since emotions are “energy in motion” and are manifested as physical sensations in the body, tapping into that energy allows us to see the truth. Our over responsibility tendencies are hurting us.
What about you? What are you carrying? Are you caring for a loved one and yet haven’t dropped any of your community responsibilities? Are you working at a job that leaves you drained at the end of the day? Are you trying to be a Superwoman (Are You a Superwoman?) by doing so much by yourself? Are you expecting to juggle things the way your friend or sister does because, well…why shouldn’t you?
There are three traps that we fall into that push us to be over responsible in ways that can hurt our health. They are all mind traps—meaning our minds are telling us stories or lies that are simply not true:
1) The Limiting Self-Definition Trap
How do you define being a good person, community member, daughter, friend, mother, wife, employee, employer, student, etc.? The word “should” is a mind trap and doesn’t take into account circumstances and the natures of people including you.
Take a moment to jot down some of your own self-definitions:
A good person should….
A good friend should…
A good mother should…
A good daughter should….
A good community member should…
A good employee should…
A good employer should…
Notice after writing some of these “should” definitions down how your body feels. Is there expansion or constriction? Do you get pain anywhere? Is your jaw or stomach clenched? Are you holding your breath?
Cross out the word good and replace the word “should” with the word “could” in each definition. Let your intuition flow and tap into possibilities where compassion, kindness, gentleness, and boundaries for yourself are part of the bigger picture (Boundaries—You Can Say No.). Perhaps lowering expectations of yourself and simplifying situations will help you drop some of those “shoulds”. Notice if you demand too much of yourself or are not seeing people for how they are showing up—are they too demanding?; are they critical and judgmental?; are they petty?; do they take no responsibility for their behavior?
Now, what do you feel in your body? Is your breathing different? Has your face relaxed? Remember, you are a walking nervous system. If you fall into a mind trap of a false belief system, you may feel that you are being chased by a lion, or squeezed by a boa constrictor. But if you climb out of that mind trap and recognize that you are at the moment free and physically safe, then there are an abundance of choices and flexible definitions.
2) Compare and Despair Trap
I’ve written articles and speak often with my clients about the pitfalls of the compare and despair trap. We all do things uniquely and are not cut from the same cloth. If there were to be a race between a bear, a bird and a fish, they would not be able to reach their destination in the same way. Bears lumber, birds fly and fish swim. If you know conitively how you take action and energetically what your profile is (You Don’t Need to Do It Their Way.) you can avoid undue tension and stress in your body.
3) If You Don’t Do It, Who Will? Trap
If you believe that you are the only one in the world who can do that task, be that person for someone, or make that money, then you are sorely limiting your Creator, Universe or whatever you call Infinite Source. Your energy is a precious commodity (Conserve Your Energy For That Which You Love). Just like a car, you need to fill up the tank in order to travel. But if you are traveling long distances and constantly emptying the tank and forgetting to refuel, you will be in trouble and break down.
Your body is the same way—it needs to be refueled with joyful activities, nature, awesome people connections, and creative expression. Even when going through challenging times or especially when going through challenging times, you need to drop the over responsibility and know that Source has infinite possibilities. And your burnout is not an option.Trusting and having faith is extremely helpful in setting your priorities straight as to whom and what you need to show up for. And that first person is you.
I invite you to walk away from over responsibility. The world is too heavy now for any of us to carry it alone. When we each do our little part and don’t allow ourselves to run out of fuel, then we can carry it all together in health and peace. Amen to that!
Need a helping hand? Schedule your 20-minute free Clarity Call today. As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert, and Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition. Stress and pain relief, trauma processing, marriage magic, dating help, career shifts, Narcissist/Borderline-relationship detoxing, and goal setting can all be accomplished through Mindbody Soul sessions (by phone). Each session creates quantum energetic shifts for healing, insight, and transformation. You have so much wisdom and it’s all within you!
Download your free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”).
If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! Or schedule your complimentary Marriage Magic Clarity Call.
If you’re dating, there are beautiful resources for you as well (and they include the red flags to look out for to avoid the narcissists!).
Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:
“I began working with Miriam after several years of extreme stress and trauma due, among other things, to the prolonged illness of my mother. The grief, stress and other toxic emotions that these situations naturally generated were keeping me from moving forward in my business. In addition, the frustration of feeling so deeply stuck was affecting my relationships, my energy levels and sense of well-being, and more.
The sessions Miriam and I did together were healing and illuminating, interesting and uplifting. They took me deep into my intuition, gave me profound insights into some of the underlying limiting emotions and beliefs that were holding me back, allowed me to reframe many of the things that were in my way and in some cases to actually energetically move them aside.
After our work together, I was able to create an extremely successful program, and with far more ease than I would have expected. I have since recommended several people to Miriam, and would unequivocally do so for anyone who is interested in Mindbody coaching.” — Shifra Hendrie, Israel
“The healing work that I experienced with Miriam’s somatic therapy gave me confidence. Miriam offers generous time to support a process that shifted my energy. When I think of describing Miriam several words come to mind, here are a few: kind, funny, real, insightful, and empowering. I appreciated her language, attentiveness, and ability to create space to understand the process. Many thanks to Miriam Racquel and consider working with her, I’m glad I did.” – R.K, New York