Do You Fear Vulnerability?
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
I was speaking to my husband the other day about relationships—a topic that we both love. I always find his perspective interesting, not only because he is a marriage and family therapist but because he is male. The older I get (and hopefully wiser!) the more I realize what a gift a man’s perspective on life is and how different it can be from a woman’s. It can be truly illuminating to hear this wisdom.
One thing that he shared with me is that he’s noticed a trend in women being unable to be vulnerable and receive within relationships. Their goal is to be fiercely independent and be able to manage things themselves. They may want help with things on one hand but on the other, they have an unwillingness to allow others to give to them. They reject help, ideas, solutions and gifts, thereby rejecting the giver as well who has made themselves vulnerable in the process of giving.
I tend to see this amongst my female clients and friends as a discomfort with loosening up the reins of control and in general pushing themselves to accomplish in the universe (as if this is their sense of value and worth) rather than receive from the universe.
Equine therapy expert Linda Kohanov suggests that the message of vulnerability is that “something significant is about to change or be revealed.” And the questions to ask of the emotion is “What belief, behavior, perception, or comfortable habit is being challenged? How might my life change if I accept this new insight?”
For many women, my understanding is that they don’t feel they deserve to receive. That somehow they feel unworthy.
Does this resonate with you?
Maybe you feel that you don’t deserve kindness. Has your inner critic wreaked havoc on you for so long that a kind gesture or word feels uncomfortable to your being?
Maybe you don’t feel that you deserve a helping hand because you question if you can’t do it yourself, then there is something wrong with you. You may ask yourself why you can’t manage the project, the dishes, the suitcase, etc….That you are weak or less than because of it.
Perhaps you reject flowers because you are not used to receiving beauty in your life. Maybe you’ve become too practical and have left behind the impractical, the playful and the imaginative.
In my article, “Are You a Superwoman?“, I mention that it is an act of bravery to receive because there is grace and connection in that gesture. There is also the energy of softness and humility which in a culture that emphasizes strength and arrogance, can feel foreign to you.
I’ve been in the process of writing and editing a memoir for many years now. It is currently in the design process and will, G-d willing, be published soon. As I was writing it, many emotions surfaced because I was going back in time where many changes had taken place. Our bodies hold memories in their cells, and somatic sensations (emotions are physical sensations) were being stirred up for me. I was fortunate to have the mindbody awareness and tools to process the sadness, grief, fear, vulnerability, shame, and trauma (freeze, fight and flight) that arose from undergoing such change.
One of the wonderful things that comes about when allowing the flow of emotional energy is to hear Intuitive messages. A very significant piece of intuition emerged that I love to share with others to support them in their choice of becoming more vulnerable in their lives: “One must make oneself vulnerable in order to change and bring in more amazing things into one’s life. It feels like fear, but is often vulnerability and the ego is what is afraid of dissolving what it holds to be true.”
To bring more beauty, kindness and wonder into your life, you must allow yourself to be vulnerable. Though it may feel uncomfortable at first, the active, conscious process of receiving is a gift to you.
Need a helping hand? Schedule your free 20-minute Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their body and intuition. Emotional/Physical pain relief, Trauma and anxiety release, Marriage wellness, Dating help, Borderline/Narcissist relationship detox, career clarity, and money receptivity are accomplished through an integrated somatic process over the phone. Mindbody Wellness is not just talk therapy! Discover your clear path to empowerment and joy now.
Download your free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). Looking forward to connecting 🙂
If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Somatic healing sessions are the way. Download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!
Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:
“Miriam helped me access my own strength. She teaches practical techniques in a balanced way that helped me zoom into my own inner wisdom. Her work is focused, orderly, and most important, she didn’t try to do the work for me. But, helped me tune into to my own inner strength and voice. And from there build healthy relationships with myself and with others.” – Anonymous
“I came to Miriam looking to seek relief from anxiety and stress induced illnesses I have had for years. Working together through four sessions initially I have found that I have been able to start to care for and show love to myself and feel sympathy and compassion for what I have experienced in my life, instead of having feelings of not being good enough. I have connected to my body and have a new relationship with anger. I have learnt to sit with uncomfortable feelings and express them then tune into what my body is telling me, which informs my actions. I have felt so much more confident speaking my mind when my boundaries are crossed and I am trusting my body to guide my decisions.
Miriam is warm, understanding and very easy to talk to and I felt able to be honest and open up about anything I needed to. I am looking forward to learning a lot more about the magic of my mind and body connection.” – LP, England