Holding It Together Through Difficult Times
Holding It Together Through Difficult Times
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
How do we hold it together through difficult times?
With compassion and presence.
It seems to be that the world is constantly being thrown into Square 1 of the Change Cycle. Sociologist and life coach, Martha Beck, developed this concept and uses a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly as a metaphor for life’s changes.
Square 1 is when, as Martha describes it, the caterpillar spins a cocoon and melts into bug soup. It totally loses its shape. For a human being, Square 1 is when a cataclysmic event has happened— a loss in some way—that propels us into losing our identity as we knew it to be. We become formless. It could be that we even chose the event—by moving, changing jobs, getting in or out of a relationship etc. or it could be that something happened that we had no control over. This is a time of grieving, disorientation and discovery. We have lost our identity.
In Square 1 there is a cycling through of many emotions—disappointment, anger, fear, grief, denial, sadness and some moments of acceptance. If you are in Square 1, these emotions (grief) require you to relax into the process and take little action—only the bare minimum at times. You need to do a lot of self-care, a lot of resting, one day at a time. You’re dissolving and grieving some big beliefs about the world, about yourself, and even about others. Self-nurturance and self-kindness is key. And so is patience.
The crazy thing is that the entire world is in Square 1. Corona threw people into bug soup—their lives as they knew it dissolved. And now it seems that the attack from Russia to the Ukraine is throwing the world into another bug soup even before we’ve fully recovered from the last cataclysmic event.
Square 2 of the Change Cycle, is when at a certain point, you start reimagining a different life for yourself. Martha calls this “dreaming and scheming” and that is when you have slowly entered into Square 2. This is when the caterpillar’s cells have begun to re-form and are taking shape. You are too. There is more a sense of curiosity, of desire and the hope of possibilities with the future. You are embracing a new identity.
Well, unfortunately this is not happening yet for the world. We cannot imagine what the world will look like. Most of us are on edge and holding on for dear life to little strings of stability.
So, how do you hold it together during this time? And if you’re feeling a lot of anxiety and fear, how do you not let it rock your world?
1) Know Where You Are: if you are not in the Ukraine getting bombarded then thank G-d, the Universe or your lucky stars (whatever your belief system is) and be grateful for the quiet and regular sounds around you. Choose how much news and views you want to see of the terror going on in that part of the world. The feeling of powerlessness in the body is a very real thing and bombarding your body and nervous system with views of horror can really rev up your system with cortisol. Of course, if your heart is pulled in that direction then help out in any way you can by way of prayer and charity. But it is essential for your health to keep present and grounded in safety, being careful to maneuver around the chaos of anger, fear, and panic that is swirling in the atmosphere. Please check out some helpful somatic/mindbody wellness tips in “Horse Wisdom—3 Mindbody Wellness Tips For Getting Grounded and Calm Today”
2) Be in Loving Compassion for Others: a breath for me, a breath for you. This technique is simple and I learned it in a self-compassion healing class. It goes like this—take a conscious breath in and release as you think quietly to yourself: A breath for me, a breath for you. You can even think a hundred breaths for me and a thousand breaths for you. You can be creative with the number of breaths—whatever pops to mind. But you’re basically breathing in deeply and consciously with the intention of breaths for you and breaths for the other. This has a very big calming effect on the body. Breathing consciously helps prevent us from shutting down from the emotional intensity of a situation. When your hands are tied to help someone more than you already have, your deep love and compassion for the other can be transmitted into breath (from my article: “When You Can’t Make It All Better for Others”).
3) Listen to Your Body’s Wisdom and Be Kind to You: what actions feel good to keep your stress levels down as much as possible? Going out, staying in, resting, eating well, enjoying comedy videos, gathering with friends, watching less news, being in nature—what is going to keep you in compassion and a well frame of mind? Give compassion to yourself using this DBT self-validation technique (“DBT Made Simple” by Sheri Van Dijk) and notice the calming sensation in your body as a result:
Acknowledge: “I feel… (sad, nervous, stressed, angry)
Allow: “It’s okay that I feel…
Understand: “It makes sense that I feel…given the challenges (difficulties, circumstances) in my life right now.”
By using these healing tips, the energy of your compassion and calm nervous system will radiate into the world and help be a blanket of peace in a world gone haywire.
Need a helping hand? Schedule your free Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their body and intuition. Emotional/physical pain relief, trauma and anxiety release, marriage wellness, dating guidance, Borderline/Narcissist relationship detox, career clarity, and money receptivity are accomplished through an integrated somatic process. Not just talk therapy, somatic/mindbody healing helps you discover your clear path to empowerment and joy now.
Download your free e-guide “3 Secrets to Solving Burnout and Getting Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way”(also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”).
If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Somatic healing sessions are the way. Download your free e-guide: “6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!”
Also, so excited to announce that my memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife is soon to be released. An 8 year endeavor, it is a tale of love, faith, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings. Get updates and illuminating newsletters here.
Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:
“I sought help from Miriam after a long haul of health issues and feeling stuck. She is so intuitive and generous in her support and has a wealth of knowledge and resources. She helped me dive into old traumas and safely sort and move forward. She has helped me reconnect with my body and find peace and joy again. I look forward to more explorations.”
– P.W., Massachusetts
“I was in a crisis with a family member and knew I needed help. I didn’t even know what “somatic” healing was, but Divine intervention directed me to contact Miriam Racquel, instead of traditional talk therapy. From our first conversation, hearing Miriam Racquel’s voice, I felt that I had come to the right address. She zeroed in on what I was feeling and directed me to the parts of my body that were weak and constricted. She led me through a few exercises designed to help me rid myself of the weight of my emotions.
Working with Miriam Racquel I realized that her method of healing, using both the mind and the body, allowed for healing in the moment as well as guidance for maintaining the healing. It was transformative, and I am grateful that I was led to her.”
– R.S., Far Rockaway, NY
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