Are You Avoiding the Ring of Fire?
Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips
Dear Awesome Woman,
Often when I am coaching clients, we hit a bit of a brick wall. It’s no trouble and really not a barrier because the gentle tools of somatic healing lead the way for dissolving even the thickest of bricks, but still it is a noticeable resistant pattern that we all have.
The brick wall is one of resistance—a resistance to noticing what stands in front of us to grieve or let go of. The resistance is an attempt to stay in denial and avoid pain. But clearly, the client is in pain so in truth they are not avoiding anything but the “Ring of Fire,” which I’ll explain soon.
Maybe it’s the resistance of a client who is in a relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist and does not want to see their cruelty.
Maybe it’s the resistance of a client feeling stuck in a job and refusing to see the damaging effects it has on their marriage or health.
Maybe it’s the resistance of a client who is holding onto the belief that things need to be a certain way just because they have always thought it to be so. All those “shoulds.” All those childhood and societal beliefs.
The gentle waves of somatic healing can help dissolve those brick walls because we dive into the body and not just the mind like most talk therapy does. The mind often refuses to see certain things—it has blindspots. The mind has resistance to change—it is scared.
But the body has wisdom and so when we drop into it, the physical sensations let us know what is truly going on for us. And this processing allows us to dive through the Ring of Fire.
The Ring of Fire is a term used by life coach and author Martha Beck. It refers to the “burning sensation of losing our identification with everything we love in the Shallows.” The Shallows is the part of the person that is “focused only on the physical world and the power to control it.” The danger of this is that, “When you’re operating purely from the Shallows, you see yourself as isolated and separate. Your behavior consists of running from things you dread and grasping onto things you desire.” (“Have You Created Your Magic List Yet?”, Martha Beck)
You’re basically refusing to dissolve your current identity and trying desperately to hang onto an imagined status quo.
The client in relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist does not want to dissolve a relationship that is “sometimes decent.” How can they let go? The Borderline/Narcissist can be so generous, caring, loving, apologetic etc. (“Breaking Free of the Confusion with a Borderline/Narcissist” and “3 Tips to Avoid a Narcissist” ). But they can also be very cruel and abusive—they are both Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. As long as the client stays in this relationship, the more they are okaying for themselves to be treated unkindly. They need to go through the Ring of Fire —grieve and mourn a bad relationship—and form a new identity. An identity of a person who loves and respects themselves enough to decide they will no longer be treated with such instability and unkindness.
The client in a job that is draining them can not imagine who they would be without the status, income or adrenalin of that job. But they are so stressed and the atmosphere at the workplace is toxic with trash talking about others. They don’t even get to spend time with their husband and their children are acting out in school. They need to go through the Ring of Fire and grieve the thoughts around who they believe themselves to be by having this job. We hold prison bars in front of our faces while meanwhile we are truly free—there is just the prison of our thoughts. In choosing to go through the “Ring of Fire” they may truly discover a different job or career path that serves their life and soul so much better.
The client who believes that certain things should be a certain way without realizing that their own tight rules and “shoulds” are hurting them. Going through the Ring of Fire will bring them to a freedom that they never thought was possible.
What is your Ring of Fire? Is there an area in your life that is hurting you and you just keep venting about it but not taking action to change? Is your body falling apart, but you are refusing to look at the emotional pain and trauma wounds that may be the true underlying reason for poor health?
The Ring of Fire is not as scary as we think. Yes, there is discomfort, grief, and change. But avoiding it is no party either. You may already be in pain. Diving through the Ring of Fire, as scary and uncomfortable as it may be, will lead you to your soul’s destiny—one that ultimately offers you the way to true freedom and relief.
Exciting news to share! My memoir, “God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife” is out! I had to go through many Rings of Fire during the 8 year long journey of writing it, editing it, designing it and publishing it. What a trip! But a worthwhile one indeed to share this tale of love, faith, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings. Enjoy!
“Miriam writes in a voice that resonates with so many of us, from a place that feels both refreshing and skeptical, with a heart that pounds with life. –Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, Senior Editor at Chabad.org., world-renowned expert on Jewish mysticism
“‘God Said What?!’ is a memoir of a woman on a journey, physical and spiritual, crossing continents seeking an awakening that she is not aware of. I found myself nodding, wondering where the next chapter was going to take ‘us,’ for the journey is one we all take. I was pulled forward, as Miriam learned that there is a spiritual, hidden side to us all. The writing is engaging, compelling. I responded with tears and laughter, as Miriam set out to “save” her boyfriend, finding herself instead. This book is about discovering what the purpose of our existence is. Everyone who reads this will connect on some level to this tale of miracles and hope that occur in everyday life, in this mundane world.” –Deborah S. Adelman, Ph.D., RN, NE-BC
If you need help going through your Ring of Fire, schedule your Free Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity coach, I help empower women with vitality and joy in their relationships, careers, and health. I also specialize in helping women recover from trauma, grief, anxiety, and physical/emotional pain ailments as well as access their awesome intuitive powers. Here are some Mindbody Wellness resources for you! Looking forward to connecting 🙂
Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:
“I sought help from Miriam after a long haul of health issues and feeling stuck. She is so intuitive and generous in her support and has a wealth of knowledge and resources. She helped me dive into old traumas and safely sort and move forward. She has helped me reconnect with my body and find peace and joy again. I look forward to more explorations.” – P.W., Massachusetts
“I was in a crisis with a family member and knew I needed help. I didn’t even know what “somatic” healing was, but Divine intervention directed me to contact Miriam Racquel, instead of traditional talk therapy. From our first conversation, hearing Miriam Racquel’s voice, I felt that I had come to the right address. She zeroed in on what I was feeling and directed me to the parts of my body that were weak and constricted. She led me through a few exercises designed to help me rid myself of the weight of my emotions.
Working with Miriam Racquel, I realized that her method of healing, using both the mind and the body, allowed for healing in the moment as well as guidance for maintaining the healing. It was transformative, and I am grateful that I was led to her.” – RS, Far Rockaway, NY
Please forward and share the light of Mindbody Wellness 🙂