Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tip:
You Don’t Need to Do It Their Way.
Dear Awesome Woman,
You don’t need to do it their way.
What do I mean by that?
Meaning, all day long you are bombarded with images from social media, from advertisements, from movies, from TV, from workplaces, and from What’s app groups of people doing things—snapshots in time. You may have heard already to ‘never compare your insides to their outsides’ which means don’t compare what you have going on in your life (the insides) to what people seem to have going on in their life (the outsides).
I’m not just talking about the struggles that we all have going on in our lives. Life is usually not smooth and G-d seems to want us to higher our vibe by challenging us with creative situations ( a nice way to put it :). I have this quote hanging on my wall: “It is funny: We ask G-d to to change our situation not knowing G-d put us in the situation to change us.”
I’m talking about how you may see others doing things and thinking, “Gosh. If I only did it their way, then I’d be … or have …”
So I’ve come to help free you from that false belief. The truth is: You don’t have to do it their way.
When you take a look at all the different ways to notice your uniqueness—Kathy Kolbe’s Conative learning styles, Carol Tuttle’s Energy Profiles, the Enneagram, Myers Briggs, and Dan Millman’s Numerology guide book (‘Live the Life You Were Born to Live’) — there is no way that you can do something someone else’s way. It’s impossible. Sure you can learn some things from others, but it’s only by tapping into your individual style and nature that will align you on your path.
So whether you’re socializing, working, parenting, choosing a career, having down time, exercising, eating, traveling etc. recognize your own awesome way to do it and then do it.
Here’s brief summaries of some of my favorite explorations of styles:
Your Conative Style:
We all take action differently. According to Kathy Kolbe, if a car with four people in it were to break down in Alaska, each one would pile out of the car and attempt to handle the situation differently.
Person 1, the Quick Start, would run to the hood, open it and wiggle some wires, though completely ignorant of how a car works.
Person 2, the Fact-Finder, would google the problem and try to gather all the information they could before taking action.
Person 3, the Implementor, would look under the hood and fix the problem. They are a person who understands engines and is good with their hands.
Person 4, the Follow-Through, would have Triple AAA as a contact and dial them up for assistance. They’re super organized and tend to place their dirty silverware in the dishwasher by grouping together the knives, spoons and forks.
Which one are you? One problem—a broken car— four different approaches to handling it.
These four different approaches are referred to as a person’s conative style or “typical action pattern.” And of course, most of us are a mixture of all the styles, but there is probably a style that is more dominant for you.
Conative styles are instinctual—meaning a person is born with these patterns. Neither style is better or worse than the other. What is important is to understand what is our conative approach to taking action. When we get this, we can stop criticizing ourselves for the way we do things. And we can stop hitting our heads against the wall in comparing ourselves to others.
We stop beating ourselves up for not being as organized as person 4, not as handy as person 3, not as informative as person 2 and not as spontaneous as person 1.
Here is my full article if you’re curious to read more:
Your Energy Profile:
Type 1 : Air – upward energy, extroverted, spontaneous, fun, upbeat, unstructured, may have difficulty with being on time
Type 2 : Water – gentle energy, introverted, likes to be comfortable (even in clothes), steady, subtle, may have challenges making a decision because stuck in self doubt
Type 3 : Fire – swift, dynamic energy, extroverted, action oriented, ‘Let’s get the show on the road,’ confident, irregular, may be considered pushy at times
Type 4 : Earth – still energy, introverted, bold, structured, precise, organized, exactness, wants to be their own authority, even from a young age, may be considered stubborn or blunt at times
Energy Profiling is the work of Carol Tuttle and she has a lot of podcasts, books (‘It’s Just My Nature’ and ‘The Child Whisperer’ are my favorites) and videos online. Her work is extremely helpful especially with parenting (‘The Child Whisperer’ podcasts are quite enlightening) because from a young age, we do things according to our style. If your parents tried to parent you like their friends were parenting their kids or if they tried to parent you with some false societal norm in mind, there will probably be wounding. Again, your parents ‘didn’t need to do it other people’s way’, just like you don’t.
And last but not least, if you’re an introvert or an extrovert needing a break, then for sure you’ve got your own style of doing things. Inward processing is an introvert’s best friend 🙂
An introvert can use a continued pattern of inward energy, outward energy, inward energy, and outward energy throughout their day to get things done without getting drained. Down time is a necessity. Here’s my full article on Recipe For An Introvert (And Extroverts Needing A Break)
So, no matter what style or energy type you have; no matter what personality you have, find your own approach to doing things. You’ll only have … and be … when you align with your own unique body, mind and soul wisdom.
Need a helping hand? As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I guide women in aligning with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom, empowering them with clarity and strength in their relationships, career and health. I invite you to schedule your free Clarity Call today.
Exciting news to share! My memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife is out! I had to go through many “Rings of Fire” during the eight year long journey of writing it, editing it, designing it and publishing it. What a trip! But a worthwhile one indeed to share this tale of love, faith, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings. Enjoy!
“Miriam writes in a voice that resonates with so many of us, from a place that feels both refreshing and skeptical, with a heart that pounds with life.”
–Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, Senior Editor at Chabad.org., world-renowned expert on Jewish mysticism
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