What is Grief and Sadness?
Love-Yourself-More Monday Mindbody Wellness Tip #24
Dear Awesome Woman,
What exactly is grief and sadness? We’ve all certainly experienced these emotions, but what are their messages to us?
According to Linda Kohanov’s emotional message chart, sadness is:
Sadness: You choose when and how to let go. Loss is imminent and in your best interest.
Questions to ask self: What must be released? What must be rejuvenated?
If ignored or suppressed: Despair, despondence
Sadness is loss and must be felt in the body so it doesn’t get blocked turning into despair. Even if you leave a vacation spot or are leaving a friend that you visited, allow yourself to feel the sadness. You may be happy to be going home, but as humans we can feel lots of emotions at the same time. Allow yourself to feel that emotion of sadness. It may feel uncomfortable in your body, but it doesn’t need to take a lot of time—even a minute of feeling emotions in the body is helpful to prevent energy blockages.
Here’s how: Allow and accept. What physical sensations do you notice in your body when you have that situation in mind and feel sad? Is it in your chest? Your heart? You can put your hand on that area and just let it rest there. You can say these words “my sadness sits here.” Often when I feel sad, my body wants to curl over and so I do that action. I curl forward a bit and just sit there kind of droopy. Sometimes there is a heaviness and I just allow that. It’s not a fun emotion to feel, but I know that I’m doing something healthy by allowing myself to sit with it.
The emotion of Grief is a bit different. Here is what Linda Kohanov says about it:
Grief : No choice in letting go; often includes anger. Having something you value taken away, even by impersonal life circumstances, is experienced as a boundary violation. A significant loss or death has occurred, usually due to circumstances beyond your control.
Questions to ask of the Emotion: What must be mourned? What must be memorialized, appreciated, or celebrated?
If ignored or suppressed: Depression
Grief is not a place of action, but of cocooning and self-care. It’s a mourning period and not to be rushed. Leaning forward into the heaviness of the grief (sometimes sits in the lungs) can be done.
And the anger part of it can be felt, the disappointment can be honored. G-d can be reckoned with though no answers may be forthcoming. (I have a processing technique I use specifically for anger. It’s very helpful for moving the energy of anger so it doesn’t get stuck. If you feel that you need support in this, please schedule a complimentary Clarity call so we can discuss working in private sessions and you can get the help you need.)
Grief is a place to hold yourself tight and give yourself lots of self-compassion, kindness and understanding. It is also cyclical which means that it doesn’t just start and end. When something of value to you has been taken away, there will be intense grief. As time passes, the intensity shifts and changes, but the grief may pop up again whenever you are reminded of the situation and loss. Then it’s self-care time again for that grief—cocooning and compassion, tears and anger release.
Love yourself more today.
Need a helping hand? As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I guide women in aligning with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom, empowering them with clarity and strength in their relationships, career and health. I invite you to schedule your free Clarity Call today.