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Emotional Blackmail—What Is It And Why You Need To Know About It

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Emotional Blackmail—What Is It And Why You Need To Know About It

Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips

 

 Dear Awesome Woman,

Emotional blackmail. Ever heard about it? I didn’t until I was so steeped in a relationship that felt so funky and upon sharing the details, a kind therapist recommended a book about it.

Funky. Why did it feel that way? Because I was involved with someone who wanted me to do something for them and when my response was a hesitation or “no, I can’t” their comeback caused such a confused sense in my body and mind. It was like “huh?” And I was always so flabbergasted I would give in to the request. How couldn’t I when they either said these exact words to me or implied them in a more subtle message?:

“If you really cared about me….”

“I’ve done so much for you …”

“I’m so generous to you …”

“You’re so selfish…”

Does any of this sound familiar? I hope not. I hope that you don’t have anyone in your life speaking to you like this or treating you like this. But if you do, here is what you need to know: the person is using Fear, Obligation and Guilt to manipulate you. It’s called FOG. 

In Susan Forward’s book, ‘Emotional Blackmail’ she explains just what this phenomenon is and how to cut through it. She even has a contract that you sign for yourself committing to get this toxic pattern out of your relationships and out of your life. This is a life saving book for your health, whether you are in a relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist— parent, husband, friend, child, boss, teacher, or co-worker who use FOG on a constant basis or not. Even regular folks may have the negative habit of using FOG to get you to do what they want and to get their way.

Now you’ve got to get your brave on when you choose to release this pattern from your life. You will feel uncomfortable. There is fear in the body when emotional blackmail is being used against you. And that is exactly what the manipulator, the Emotional Blackmailer, wants you to feel. Instead of respecting your boundaries, your limits, your wishes, your being, their goal is of utmost importance to them. They want something from you and they will pressure, demean and hurt you to get it. And sadly, this is a person who pretends to care about you, and really, maybe they do, but they are in ‘bad behavior’ to accomplish their goal. I call it living from the lower self.

The key is to stay connected to your body when you are setting your boundaries with this person, even while feeling discomfort and fear. Susan Forward teaches you how to do this by changing the thought in your mind from “I can’t stand the pressure” to “I can stand the pressure.” When you give yourself permission to love and care for yourself by setting limits, then being in that higher state of mind gives you the strength to stand your ground. Of course there will be discomfort when a person is communicating to you that you are not “good enough, doing enough, being enough.” 

But you don’t need to listen to them. It’s all lies for them to get their way. Again, it’s bad behavior on their part.

So, I invite you to read the book, even if no one is using this pattern in your life. Consider yourself lucky and be aware by reading it anyway.

For anyone who is a teacher or parent, it’s really important to educate children about this FOG factor. Keep your spidey senses up when a child opens up about relationships with friends. Children need to be taught not to use this pattern themselves in their relationships, as well as, not to have it done to them. When we want something, we need to have faith that if it’s meant to be it will be and our method of getting it needs to be with kindness and respect, not pressure or manipulation.

Please reach out today for a free Clarity Call if you are experiencing this in any of your relationships. You’ve been slimed by FOG and manipulation and your body and cells have been infected. There are gentle somatic techniques to heal from this and give your body and mind health. As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I guide women in aligning with their physical, emotional and intuitive wisdom, empowering them with clarity, vibrancy and peace-of-mind in their relationships, career and health. Looking forward to connecting 🙂

Download your free e-guide: Escape From the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web (along with “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” and other free resources)

If you’d like more connection, emotional safety, peace and fun in your marriage, download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! 

If you’re dating, there are beautiful resources for you as well (and they include the red flags to look out for to avoid the narcissists!).

For more Mindbody Wellness Tips, please visit: MiriamRacquel.com and YourMarriageMagic.com.

Client Love:

“I came to Miriam looking for help recovering from a painful breakup with a covert narcissist that I’d been suffering over for far too long. I realized that I’d not only been struggling from my most recent relationship but also from my childhood relationship with my father, which I thought I’d dealt with years ago. I learned that I had energy stuck in my body from real traumas I’d experienced, which talk alone was just not able to process. Miriam helped me with real-time processing in my body and clearing the immediate pain, as well as healing the source of my unhealthy relationship choices, and given me tools for compassionately helping myself when difficult emotions arise in the future, leaving me feeling stable and self assured about myself and my future.”

  • T.H., Colorado

 

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Circles of Trust

Circles of Trust

Mindbody Wellness

Dear Awesome Woman,

Welcome to Love-Yourself-More Monday 🙂 So glad that you are here.

One thing that I wish that I had known as a child was to create circles of trust. I first heard of this concept from life coach Martha Beck. If you draw a dot in the center of a page which represents you and then draw widening circles around the dot, those are your circles of trust. You decide who is close and who is far. The closer to the center dot (you), the more trusting and loving (vulnerable) you are with them because they are safe in holding your heart. Some people you may move around the circles—bringing them closer or moving them further away depending on their behavior and situations. Some you may make leave entirely. 

I was blessed with a few wonderful friendships growing up, but there were others that I experienced that were not so wonderful (and had some of those in college years and beyond). This knowledge that I’m sharing with you now would have saved me a lot of anguish. I actually wrote a children’s book (not yet published) based on this concept because I believe it is so important that people understand the concept of discerning relationships and trust from a young age. 

The most important thing is that we always get to choose who are in our circles of trust.

You get to discern the ‘who’ and the ‘where’ based on your body’s wisdom and your mind’s wisdom. With using the body, you pay attention to your emotions. Emotions are ‘energy in motion’ and are in your body as sensations.

For example, if someone has been nice to you for a while, whether a friend, a co-worker, a boss, a romantic partner, and then gets critical, cynical or hot/cold, then your mind might be confused, but your body won’t be. Your mind may try to ignore, justify and/or rationalize their behavior. It may  say “Huh, that was weird. But they’ve always been nice so maybe they’re having a bad day. I’ll judge them positively.” It’s okay to judge positively, but not to ignore the behavior. It just may happen again. Your body knows the score. It will feel an aversion to the person. Your stomach may sink, your torso may want to turn away and run. Good to notice and pay attention to!

Tread carefully with moving forward in these relationships. You may need to move the person to an outer circle—not as close and not as privy to your thoughts and to your vulnerability. Not as close to your heart.

Remember that it is a good thing to take relationships slowly—that goes for co-worker relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships. People have so many different sides to them and it’s much easier to bring people into your inner circles rather than push people from inner circles to outer ones. People get hurt and confused and not all decisions can be explained. Honesty with others is not always the best policy. But self-care is.

Here are a set of relationship-oriented principles that I call BRAKES based off of Brene Brown’s BRAVING principles. Ask yourself these questions when you’re discerning how comfortable you feel with the person you are interacting with, including where to put them on your circles—remember that you are empowered to make “discerning choices of connection” with all your relationships.

***And just an important note: If you find that your spouse falls short on these principles, and you feel like throwing them off the edge of your circles, just know that marriage patterns can be changed. Miracles can and do happen! I call it “Marriage Magic.” Please reach out if you need a guiding hand.

BRAKES 

  • BOUNDARIES—Do they honor your boundaries? What happens when you say ‘no’ to them? Are you afraid to say ‘no’ because when you have said ‘no’, they get mean and nasty, overly hurt, threatening, manipulative or have a temper tantrum claiming that you don’t like them? Some people use “emotional blackmail” to try to get what they want. They will call you selfish, greedy, cold, rigid and other nasty things in order to make you feel really bad about saying “no.” Please watch out for this kind of labelling of your character. Not only are they “put downs”, but they are also manipulative lies in order for the other person to get you to do what they want. In your body, it is felt as pressure, discomfort and shame.

 

  • RESPONSIBILITY—How responsible and reliable are they? Do they follow through and do what they say they’ll do? Or are they like a chicken with their head cut off, committing themselves to a whole lot of stuff that they can’t possibly do and then backing out at the last minute? That could leave you really feeling resentful because there has been a boundary violation—your energy and time has not been respected. How self-aware are they about what they can do and can’t do? 

 

  • ACCOUNTABILITY—How do they show up when it comes to taking accountability? Have you experienced them owning up to their mistakes? Do they apologize and make changes? Some people are great at apologizing, but then do not follow through with making changes. If this is unsatisfactory to you, then take note and make changes yourself. Don’t be a victim and then blame them. As Maya Angelou so wisely says “When people show you who they are, believe them.” It is so important to open our eyes to what people are showing us about themselves. 

 

  • KEEPERS—How are they with keeping what you share with them private? If you share something with them, do you feel confident that they won’t share it with others, including their spouses, siblings, children, parents? Or maybe you’re okay that they share it with their spouse and family members ? It depends on what the two of you decide. Also, how are they with keeping other people’s confidences? Do they share things with you about other people that may have been meant to be private? If they talk behind others’ backs—meaning if they share with you a lot of stuff from others—then they just may share with others a lot of stuff about you. It’s important in regards to feeling emotionally safe in a relationship to know that what you do share is kept confidential and that your vulnerability is honored.

 

  • ENERGY EXCHANGE—What is the energy exchange between the two of you? Are you a priority for them? Are you a low priority for them? Either is fine as long as you know where you stand so that you’re not constantly getting hurt from false expectations.

 

  • SYNC—Are they in sync with your values and their own values? Do you respect them? Do they make choices in line with your values? Do they even make choices that are in sync with their own values or do they just talk about them? Actions speak louder than words. Pick people who are in sync with your values and ones who are in sync with their own values. 

BRAKES  is not only great for deciding where to put people on your circles, but also in managing your expectations of others. If you know that someone is not great in the Vault area, you’re going to be careful what you share about yourself with them.

If they have a weakness in the RESPONSIBILITY  area—they say that they’ll be somewhere at a certain time and they never are, then know that. If you want to meet them for a lunch date, figure out how to do it without expecting them to be on time. Choose when you’ll show up and what you’ll do if they’re late. Or better yet, speak to them about how you feel when they show up late repeatedly. You can tell them that it feels disrespectful to your time and energy, and that it damages the trust you have in the relationship. Take note of how they respond and then decide where you want them on your circles.

Life is always changing and so are relationships with people. There is a flow and when we allow the wisdom of our body to guide us as well as our mind, we can make safer choices. Teach about the circles to children so they learn these skills early-on. They’ll grow up to be pros with their circles of discerning trust of others. They’ll grow up to be resilient and wise, keeping themselves safe and healthy in an ever-changing world. 

The ROAR! Process is an effective Mindbody technique to release stuck energy, get healthier and tap into inner wisdom for both adults and children. It’s a technique I use with my clients to free themselves from the harmful effects of built up anger, resentment, trauma, grief and disempowerment. I’m excited to announce that I’ve made it available for purchase here: The ROAR! Process eguide.  

Need a hand? I invite you to schedule your Free Clarity Call today. As a Somatic Healer and Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their body and intuition. Marriage wellness, narcissist relationship detox, career clarity, money receptivity and emotional/physical pain relief is accomplished through an integrated somatic process over the phone. Discover your clear path to empowerment and joy now. 

 

 

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Polyvagal, Indigestion and Your Emotions

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Polyvagal, Indigestion and Your Emotions

Mindbody Clarity Wellness Tips!

 

Dear Awesome Woman,

 

A lot of things have an effect on our body—genetics, sleep, climate, food, activity, emotions and the mysteries of life. What’s interesting is that in the medical world, there are no teachings about many of these things. Sitting at the table next to my niece who just finished nursing school, she mentioned that they learned nothing about the effect of food on a person’s health in her classes. Nor emotions.

 

How peculiar that when a medical practitioner is trained to treat patients, they are not taught to focus on the whole person— not to include the food that someone is putting in their body or the stresses in their lives including relationship stresses. Western medicine can be quite narrow minded. Traditional treatments and medicines are so important and yet they do not cover the whole picture of a person’s health.

 

We are fortunate for other experts who bring additional suggestions to some of life’s complex health issues.

 

For example, Dr. Stephen Porges, a psychologist and neuroscientist who brought the world the polyvagal theory. He shows an intimate connection between our emotions, our nervous systems, our brains and our organs.

 

Let’s talk a little bit about gut health and emotional safety.

 

“The mechanisms of the neuro-regulation of the organs below the diaphragm have to receive a signal that everything is safe. If they receive life threat signals, their bowel won’t work right.” 

 

In other words, if you are in situations and relationships in which you do not have emotional safety, there is a strong possibility for digestive issues. And if you grew up in a home in which you did not feel safe, for whatever reason (perhaps even misunderstood), then it’s understandable if you have digestive issues.

 

This is all connected to the vagus nerve which goes from the brain all the way down to the gut.

 

Are you interacting with Borderline/Narcissists in your life? These are toxic relationships that shut you down—mind, body and soul. The body reacts to the emotional blackmail, the put downs and the everyday trauma by going into freeze and flight mode. 

 

Do you have a job that you dislike? There are good parts and negative parts to all things in life, but if you consistently have to drag yourself out of bed every morning with a groan when it comes to going to work, it may be time to look elsewhere. Please check out: Is Your Job Draining You? 5 Mindbody Tips to a Better Career!

 

Was your home a place of safety or fear? Some children grew up with alcoholic parents or had parents that squabbled constantly. Or had a parent with temper issues or a sibling that wasn’t well. When we are in fear, our stomach clenches—it’s just what the vagus nerve does in reaction to alarm. This prevents the proper digestion and elimination of food.

 

Did you get highly criticized as a child in school or at home? Getting criticized for being you as a child, sets the nervous system into fight, flight or freeze (shut down). The lack of love and kindness and the attacks on character cause the body to constrict, tense up and feel unsafe. And these are blows to the delicate self-esteem of an emerging adult. There is damage resulting from not being seen in a compassionate, kind light. 

 

But there is hope! As an adult, it is of utmost importance to find ways of making yourself feel safe, release stuck fear/freeze energy that’s still lurking in the cells of your body and develop new neural pathways of positive self-esteem. This is totally possible to do through Somatic healing! 

 

I’ve helped myself and my clients through this journey. We have come a long way, baby! And now it’s your turn 🙂

 

Need a helping hand? Schedule your Free Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Clarity Coach & Relationship Expert I help busy women step into their radiant power through quick shifts of transformational healing, marriage tune-ups, and toxic relationship detoxes. Looking forward to hearing your voice 🙂

“There is hope! Miriam has shown me that it’s possible to release trauma, even if it’s been there for a very long time. The antidote to trauma/triggers is found in listening to your body. No matter how difficult, Miriam is one of those women who can hold your story, and guide you to a new beautiful “what if?” If you allow it, the solutions will surprise and delight you” – Chana, Baltimore

Download your free e-guide “3 Secrets to Solving Burnout and Getting Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way”(also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). 

If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Somatic healing sessions are the way. Download your free e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! If you haven’t had a chance to read the latest Marriage Magic post, here it is: Find Tuning Your Marriage to Make it a Great One!

 

Also, great news to share! “God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife,”  my story of love, humor, faith, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings, won the GOLD award from the Nonfiction Book Awards! 

Here’s a piece from the review:

“A journey like the one Feldman writes about in her book is understandably emotional. Feelings are splashed across every page, and the author’s writing style pulls readers into those moments easily. God Said What?! will inspire many in ways they don’t even expect by the time they turn the final page. A truly special book!”

~ Nonfiction Authors Association Book Awards Program

 

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10 Tips to Spot a Borderline/Narcissist—Starting Off the New Year Right!

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B”H

 

10 Tips to Spot a Borderline/Narcissist—Starting Off the New Year Right!

Mindbody Wellness & Clarity Tips

 

New Year means fresh beginnings and awesome possibilities. Let’s make sure that we start it off smart and discerning about all our relationships and continue using our wisdom as the year unfolds.

 

I’m sharing here an excerpt from my free e-guide: Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web – 10 Tips to Spot Them, 3 Ways to Cut Their Effect on You, 3 Steps to Make a Safe Exit

 

Dear Awesome Woman,

 

I’m not going to waste your time explaining what a Borderline/Narcissist is. Obviously if you’re here, then you’ve already heard of them and the damage that they can wreak on your mind, body and soul. No joke.

 

So, to begin with, here are 10 tips to spot them early so you don’t get trapped in their controlling web:

 

1. They’re overly friendly, generous, and charming. 

They have landed their line in you and are reeling you in. How do you know? Normal folks are kind and may offer help, but they don’t need to charm and they’re not excessively generous. If you feel yourself being charmed and doted on to the extreme, run the other way. A person with decent self-esteem doesn’t need to charm and doesn’t have the time to overly focus on you.

 

2. They “get” you. 

They really seem to understand you and where you’re coming from. They know how you feel. This is not empathy; this is part of the reeling in. They are superb manipulators and know what makes people tick. They know that they need to make you feel safe before they show their true selves and get all entitled on you.

 

3. They’re multi-talented.

 It’s part of their charm. In fact, you’re probably very impressed by them. 

 

4. They move in quickly. 

They know they want you, whether as a friend, a lover, or a close co-worker. You are their goal. They will court you.

 

5. They say odd things, but they are so nice that you ignore the funky feeling it sets off  in your body. 

You may even furrow your brows and feel a bit confused. Most likely you”ll just smile awkwardly to be polite and not make waves. But something just doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t feel right in your body, something seems off, but you can’t put your finger on it or are uncomfortable putting your finger on it. 

 

6. They will talk badly about other people behind their backs. 

They may make fun of someone, make a snide comment, or put them down. If you are not in the habit of doing this and it is against your integrity to talk behind others’ backs, do not walk—run. And fast. Or speak up! Call them on it. Don’t just try to defend the person who is not in the room with you. Say, “Hey, it’s really rude to speak that way about another person. I’m not into that.” If they put you down because you speak up or if they try to laugh it off, keep calling a spade a spade. Show that you aren’t easily intimidated or afraid to speak your mind. And then walk away. They’ve shown their true colors. As Maya Angelou warns, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If the Borderline/Narcissist is speaking this way about someone, then it’s quite possible that in the future, it will be about you.

 

7. They won’t like you if you don’t show an interest in them. 

So don’t. They want to have power over people, and if they can’t have the power over you, then they won’t like you. One of the ways they do this is with their super charming personality and their many talents. Don’t get that interested. 

 

8. They seem really down to earth and deep. 

But they’re not. They’re missing something inside. They want your energy and will suck you dry if you let them. You have something that they want. They are energy vampires. Maybe not at the beginning of the relationship—at the beginning they are generous, attentive, kind, thoughtful, etc. but don’t be fooled. They will eventually become a vampire. Or Dr. Jekyll’s Mr. Hyde. Not fun. 

 

9. They’re confusing. 

They say something about you that makes you go “huh” or feel defensive.

 

10. They try to get you to do something that you don’t want to do. 

They’re persistent and you feel intimidated, not physically, but emotionally and socially. You feel uncomfortable saying no. You get a sense that they are judging you for not doing what they want you to do. And they may be. But in truth, it’s not their judgments that are the problem. Your own judgments about you are the problem and the Borderline/Narcissist will use your weaknesses and vulnerabilities for their own devices—to get you to do what they want. 

 

You can stand up to them. You can tell them that you feel bullied and pressured and that you don’t like that. But don’t engage in an argument with them. This is not up to debate. Either you feel bullied or you don’t. If you do, state it clearly and don’t explain or even have a conversation with them about it. 

 

The Borderline/Narcissist is a master manipulator and you will get confused. There is something broken about them—a twisting of the mind—and they will defend themselves. Or maybe this time, they’ll apologize. And maybe next time, they’ll apologize. 

 

But at some point, they’ll be expecting you to apologize and tell you that you hurt them. And then you will regret being involved with them, but too confused to figure out why.

 

Also, if they tell you something about yourself, keep in mind they may be lying. They want you to feel vulnerable and dependent on them. It is a power tool of theirs to get you in their web (and to stay there after you’ve lost your way).

 

Just remember this: You are more amazing than you know, and be careful of the labels that they put on you. Walk away now.

 

If a Borderline/Narcissist causes you to feel doubtful of your abilities or ashamed of your personality, set up a free Clarity call —I have tools to help you, but please DO NOT give your power away to the Borderline/Narcissist. They’ll only hurt you, not help you.

 

A few other helpful articles:

Emotional Blackmail—What Is It And Why You Need To Know About It

 

Boundaries Are Beautiful For Your Health.

 

Need a helping hand? Schedule your free 20-minute Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Marriage Coach and Anxiety & Trauma Specialist, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition. Emotional/physical pain relief, trauma and anxiety release, marriage wellness, dating help, Borderline/Narcissist relationship detox, and career clarity are accomplished through an integrated somatic process over the phone. Mindbody Wellness is not just talk therapy! Discover your clear path to empowerment and joy now.

Download your free e-guide 3 Secrets to Solving Burnout and Getting Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way(also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). 

“After almost a decade in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, I knew I needed more healing and resolution than standard talk therapy could provide. Miriam provided a somatic approach to mind and body coaching that really helped me turn my life around. I learned the importance of trusting my intuition again to make the decisions that were right for me. Thank you so much Miriam for the incredible difference you’ve made in my life!” – Nicole T., Canada

 

If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Somatic healing sessions are the way. Download your free e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! And check out  the most recent marriage magic newsletter: A Quiz! How Defensive is Your Husband?

 

Enjoy my Award-Winning memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife. #1 Bestseller in Women & Judaism, it is a tale of faith, love, humor, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings! 

“Agnostic? Atheist? This one’s for you!!! 

I love this book!! Ever grappled with the meaning of life and what Judaism has to say? This book’s for you. Relative or friend of someone who returned to their Jewish roots, but never quite understood WHY?! You’ll gain so much from this masterpiece. Funny, VERY honest, so well-written.” – B.R.

 

 

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Marriage Magic

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The Magic of Apology in Your Marriage

Marriage Magic Mindbody Wellness Tips

 

Dear Awesome Woman,

 

One of the hardest things to do in your marriage is to apologize. And it’s even harder when you really and truly believe that it’s not your fault, that you did absolutely nothing wrong, and that it is absolutely all his fault. Sound familiar?

 

I used to have a really hard time apologizing in my marriage. My mind would google all the evil my husband had done to me not just in the situation we were dealing with but with the past as well—all those nonsensical things that he did. How could anything be my fault when I had married such a person as him?! 

 

And my mind was the best googler around—the proofs would be abundant and pile on top of each other.

 

And then I read Laura Doyle’s advice about apologizing and came across her suggestion to apologize to our husbands. It made me think. Certainly some of the things that I was doing until that point were not bringing connection and peace into my marriage. I started to practice many of her skills, made Empowered circle groups for other women and trained with her as a relationship coach. Though I didn’t substitute my mindbody/somatic skills for her training techniques, I do use her intimacy skills often and suggest them to my clients as well. There is much to gain. 

 

As women, we have the choice to tune into our bodies and use emotional processing and releasing techniques to access the wisdom within our emotions. We can respect what our feelings of anger, resentment, grief, sadness, disappointment, and even joy are telling us. We can make ourselves more safe and trusting of who we are and come home to our bodies. 

 

At the same time, using Laura Doyle’s skills help us communicate more effectively with our husbands. There is less criticism, less shaming and blaming and more gratitude. A much better vibe of positivity and understanding embraces the home. There is increased emotional safety for both husband and wife. With this safety and peace, comes connection, kindness and love.   

 

See if you can relate to this: our minds can google all kinds of evidence to the wrong doings being done to us. And certainly our husbands are not perfect. Even mine being a Marriage and Family therapist is not perfect (although he may disagree!). But in all honesty, we’re human and all of us make mistakes. The beauty in the apology is just taking accountability for what we could have done better and communicated differently. Perhaps we could have processed some of our “shoulding” (PLEASE READ: A Quiz! How Defensive is Your Husband?) energy and chosen a kinder energy. We’re noticing and taking responsibility for how we may not have shown up in our highest selves. 

 

This is what we are apologizing for — we don’t have to take responsibility for the entire conflict that we are having but we can find our parts that participated or added to the negativity that occurred. 

 

Now there is one process that I will not skip—and that is the emotional process. If I’ve been triggered by the conflict or by what preceded the conflict, I will take the time to process and release my emotions (The ROAR Process is great for doing that!). After hearing my body’s wisdom as well as some intuitive, higher self wisdom, I’ll see where I can take responsibility and apologize for that.

 

Perhaps I requested something from my husband with a touch of resentment or bitterness and my husband felt that wave of intense energy come through the words. People can feel energy even if your words seem neutral. And many husbands in particular are allergic to shaming energy (see article link in previous paragraph).

 

Perhaps I forgot my husband’s love language and just used my love language and this helped add to the conflict.

 

Perhaps I was right that he should have, could have, or shouldn’t have…. but is there a little piece that I can own? I desire peace in my home. I desire emotional safety and kindness. I desire connection, a smooth flow of compromise—giving and receiving. Did my words or actions convey that desire or could I have handled it better? And if I had a lot of “should” energy could I have taken the time to do some processing around that? 

 

Sigh. Probably the answer is “yes” to at least one of these pieces. And then this is the space in which I can apologize. This goes a long way in bringing us together.

 

***A caveat: If your husband is a Borderline/Narcissist —boundaries are needed not apologies (Breaking Free of the Confusion with a Borderline/Narcissist  and Emotional Blackmail—What Is It And Why You Need To Know About It).

 

But if your husband is a regular guy with some shame issues and some allergies to negative judgment then apologizing for your part in the conflict will bring about magical results. Humility is a virtue in marriages where accommodating energy is so important. Here is the mysticism behind that— a quote from my newly released memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife : “When the world was first created, there was chaos—a spiritual space of chaos, with different energies existing. The Kabbalists teach that these energies had no tolerance for each other; they were very aggressive, giving no room for the existence of the other. So then, God made a world of moderation, and that is our world. A world that can accommodate a multitude of energies. A world of collaboration. Marriage is of this energy, an accommodating energy.” P.249 

 

Apology is a great choice to make and your higher self will thank you!

 

If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Schedule your 20-minute free Marriage Magic Clarity Call today!

 

Exciting news to share! My memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife is out! It was an 8 year long journey of getting it out into the world, but a worthwhile one indeed to share this tale of love, faith, and kabbalistic mystical happenings. Enjoy!

“I really got caught up in this book right from the start. It’s quite a page- turner. Every journey of faith is unique and personal, but Miriam Racquel makes hers so relatable that she takes you on her road of fearlessly searching for truth and her soul’s search for a warm home. Full of twists, turns and unexpected revelations, I’m inspired by her honesty. Highly recommend!” – Tammy

 

As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I help empower women with vitality and joy in their relationships, careers, and health. I also specialize in helping women recover from trauma, grief, anxiety, and physical/emotional pain ailments as well as access their awesome intuitive powers. Read the latest Mindbody Wellness article, 11 Life Lessons I Learned From My Garden. Download your free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). Looking forward to connecting!

 

Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:

“I reached out to Miriam Racquel shortly after I had just gotten married as my marriage was not turning out to be the fairytale I had always dreamed it to be. Within just a few sessions I began feeling so empowered to make positive, lasting changes in my marriage that I had control over, and the wisdom I have accessed through Miriam Racquel’s help has truly transformed my marriage into the playful, passionate one that I have always desired. I love the mind-body healing work that Miriam Racquel infuses into her sessions. These practices have allowed me to release my emotions in a powerful way and give me a great sense of relief, validation, and confidence to help me move forward with love.” – N.C.G., Atlanta, Georgia

 

“I sought help from Miriam after a long haul of health issues and feeling stuck. She is so intuitive and generous in her support and has a wealth of knowledge and resources. She helped me dive into old traumas and safely sort and move forward. She has helped me reconnect with my body and find peace and joy again. I look forward to more explorations.”  – P.W., Massachusetts

 

Feel free to forward to a friend and share the light of Mindbody Wellness!

 

This article first published @ https://yourmarriagemagic.com/apologyinmarriage/

 

 

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3 Tips To Avoid A Narcissist

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  1. Do they respect your boundaries? Judith Orloff says if you want to test someone that you suspect is a Narcissist you can tell them that you’re unavailable. See what they do with that. Are they respectful or do they do what Susan Forward calls, ‘emotional blackmail’? Do they try to test your limits (were not talking about a toddler or a teenager here) or put you down to get their way?
  2. Do they thrive on conflict? Some people love drama—is this co-worker, potential friend or partner one of those? Do they love to talk behind people’s backs?
  3. Are they reliable where they do what they say they will do? Or do they continuously break trust and then make excuses? This may not be a Narcissist, but it’s a good idea to keep in mind the accountability factor—are mistakes owned up to, are changes made? Do you feel a power-over thing happening? Again, pay attention to your body’s clues.
  4. And this is a Brene Brown question: “Do they choose what is right over what is fun, fast or easy?” How is their integrity?

If you’re a woman who would love to enjoy a peaceful marriage and home and be empowered as an individual, I can help you achieve that. Somatic healing sessions are the way. Download your free e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

Also, so excited to announce that my memoir, God Said What?! #MyOrthodoxLife is out! An 8 year endeavor, it is a tale of love, faith, and Kabbalistic mystical happenings. Enjoy!

 

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Choose Kind People in Your Life

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Choose Kind People in Your Life

Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips

 

Dear Awesome Woman,

 

The other morning I had a virtual doctor’s appointment. The doctor got on the zoom without a smile, without a friendly, “How are you?”, without a kind presence. This was a doctor who is an expert in her field, but if I had more choices, I would not choose her as a care practitioner. Her bedside manner is sorely lacking, to say the least. And I’ve heard that that is a complaint of many of her patients.

 

I have a family member who suffers from autoimmune encephalitis (Pandas) and as the main caretaker, I show up first at the appointments to fill the doctor in on the dis-ease symptoms that are present or are lessening, before I bring the family member in to speak to the doctor. And I’m glad I do because the coldness on the doctor’s face is unnerving and since life is hard enough as it is, I would not want that family member to have to face that first thing. By the time I call that family member in to join us for the appointment, I’ve been on with the doctor for a while along with my wonderful patient advocate (a Pandas consultant) who I’ve hired just for these types of difficult circumstances. Wendy Nawara is kind, caring, compassionate, and has expertise and knowledge on the dis-ease subject that we are dealing with. She helps create a warm, supportive atmosphere and the doctor’s coldness does not dominate the call. I truly believe in the importance of surrounding myself and my loved ones with kind people.

 

So, how is the state of your life in terms of surrounding yourself with kind people? Full or a bit lacking? If there are holes, my suggestion is to seal them up. 

 

How does one do that? A few years ago, I suffered from many mindbody symptoms. I didn’t know what it was at the time—I just kept running around to different doctors, massage therapists, chiropractors, and naturopaths to try to help cure me of the terrible aches and pains in my body, my low energy levels and the overall feeling of drain. All of these care practitioners were wonderful and helpful, but the pain would only subside temporarily. And then I’d be back in their offices again dealing with the same thing. 

 

Little did I know that the real source causing the pain and drain was emotional. Though the pain itself was very physical (ouch!) the chiropractors, massage therapists, and medical experts could not fix the tension and low energy caused by my constant inner criticism, my being my own energy vampire (“Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?”), and my allowing emotional blackmail (“Emotional Blackmail—What Is It And Why You Need To Know About It”) to be a constant repeat in my life.

 

At some point, the massage therapist put her hands on me and said, “You are empty. You have nothing more to give.” I realized then that I had to make some major shifts in my life. It started me on a self-help journey which led to becoming a coach and somatic healer. Those aches and pains went away as did the drain.  

 

The most important shift that I made was how I spoke to and treated myself as well as how I allowed others to treat me. I chose to only be in kindness with myself and surround myself with kindness. The inner leads to the outer. The kind and compassionate way that we treat ourselves reverberates outwards and then the people coming into our lives are kinder, even those who have been there for years. It’s almost like there’s an energy code surrounding you that says, “only kindness belongs here.” And then it does.

 

We are all walking nervous systems. When we are with people who are critical, unkind, judgy, petty, catty, or downright mean, our nervous systems react. They either shut down (freeze) or want to run from danger or fight the danger. Our bodies get filled with cortisol, adrenaline, and tension. We can’t do that to ourselves—we can’t remain in these kinds of situations and think that our health won’t be affected negatively. 

 

You can’t do that to yourself. You are of infinite worth, are put here on the planet for a beautiful mission of sharing light. If your energy and light are dimmed or suppressed by others (including yourself!) then you are not fulfilling your purpose. 

 

Make a choice today to treat yourself kinder and to only surround yourself with kind people. Will that path be perfect? No—the universe is not perfect, but your intention and your actions can create tremendous shifts that will benefit your health. 

 

Here are some resources to help you on your journey:

 

”Boundaries—You Can Say No.”

 

“This Holiday Season, Gift Yourself Kindness! lt Will Lower Your Blood Pressure” 

 

“Are You a Superwoman?”

 

“Arms Up! And Cheer Yourself On!”

 

Go ahead and enjoy how your world shifts to one filled with more kindness! Your energy will surge as it reaps the benefits!

 

Need a helping hand? Schedule your 20-minute free Clarity Call today. As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert, and Clarity Coach, I help empower women to trust themselves through the wisdom of their bodies and intuition. Stress and pain relief, trauma processing, marriage magic, dating help, career shifts, Narcissist/Borderline-relationship detoxing, and goal setting can all be accomplished through Mindbody Soul sessions (by phone). Each session creates quantum energetic shifts for healing, insight, and transformation. You have so much wisdom and it’s all within you!

Download your free gift e-guide: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way” (also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). 

If you’d like more love and fun in your marriage, download your free gift e-guide: “6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!”

If you’re dating, there are beautiful resources for you as well (and they include the red flags to look out for to avoid the narcissists!). Check out my interview with Diana Pivenshteyn  & Valori Lynne Zaslow of Jewish Singles Radio WWDB Philadelphia here.

 

Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @ Client Love:

 

“I never realized that being kind to myself was such a challenge. I never realized how much peace and clarity it could bring. Most importantly I am learning how to trust my intuition again. And I also noticed that I did not feel depressed, a feeling which I associated with my situation. I still see what I am lacking, yet I don’t turn to blame or despair. I know there are ways to get answers. I felt that Miriam truly listened in a non-judgemental way. I felt that I could talk to her about anything. She was very flexible in changing directions of our sessions, adjusting to what was needed to be addressed at a given moment.” – L., New York

 

“I had been having frequent bladder issues and after doing some research, I came across the information that this could be happening due to my inability to process emotions such as anger and stress. I did notice that they were coming after particularly stressful times and after reading the Mind Body Prescription, I decided to seek out a coach who specialized in this type of healing. Each session I had with her was really powerful and impactful. I would highly recommend (and have!) that anyone struggling with mindbody pain, work with Miriam.”  – M.L., Oklahoma

 

Feel free to forward to a friend and share the light of Mindbody Wellness.

 

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Is All Silence Stonewalling?—Marriage Magic Tips

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Is All Silence Stonewalling?

Mindbody Wellness & Marriage Magic Tips

 

Dear Awesome Woman,

 Marine tried for the umpteenth time to explain to her husband that she doesn’t want certain words used around the children.

“Please, be more sensitive to what I’m asking you to change. It’s really not a big deal.”

 Joe responded angrily, “Stop telling me what to do. You’re always so controlling and I don’t want to be muzzled.”

Marine walked away, frustrated. How can she get through to her husband her need for him to be more careful with his words? She understands that he’s a guy and does things differently, but she’s also a mama bear and feels protective of her kids. A few days go by before she can talk to her husband normally and though he’s accused her of stonewalling, she just doesn’t think that is what she’s doing. She just feels shut down.

 

Stonewalling seems to be a popular term. But what does it actually mean? And if you’ve tried your best to communicate with someone and they just don’t get it, then is it stonewalling if you sit in silence for a few days? Or is it just that you’re baffled that you can’t get through to that loved one no matter how many different ways you’ve tried and despair has set in?

 

The definition of stonewalling is refusing to communicate. It’s the act of shutting down, becoming disengaged, and being unavailable for connection. But I’d like to add to the definition that it is a manipulative technique to get someone to do what you want or to avoid taking responsibility. Sort of like emotional blackmail.

 

But if you’re not being manipulative with your silence, then I believe that applying the term “stonewalling” is not the case. Like these examples:

 

—You’ve tried to communicate your needs, thoughts, and desires and your spouse brushes them off or conveniently forgets. You don’t know what to do with your frustration and you’re at the point of despair. You’ve even gone for typical marriage counseling and yet, nothing has changed. You sit in silence for days.

 

—You’ve tried to ask your husband to stop behaving a certain way, and he agrees, but then doesn’t stop. You shut down and are at a loss for words. Your spouse says that you’re sulking and being difficult and yet, you don’t want to engage with him and act as if everything is fine.

 

—You’re married to a Narcissist/Borderline and all the communication in the world has not led to you feeling safe in your marriage. You’ve stopped communicating altogether, because really, what is the point?

 

These examples show that your silence and disengagement are not to get your spouse to change—you’re just flummoxed as to what to do with your frustration, your sadness, your confusion, your grief. Why should you pretend that everything is hunky-dory when it’s so not? Why should you try for the umpteenth time to have peace and communication when your spouse is really the brick wall, not you?

 

First of all, it’s good to know that you’re not stonewalling. You’re not a manipulative person, never have been and never will be. It’s just not your nature. What you are is a sensitive person in a difficult situation.

 

So now that we’ve clarified that you are not stonewalling, let’s try some other techniques to up the vibe of your marriage where there is more love, connection, and peace:

 

1) Get honest with yourself about your feelings.

Somatic healing has to do with the recognition that “emotions are energy in motion” and are physical sensations in your body. They flow and give wisdom when you notice them. Does your jaw feel tight, your eyebrows furrowed? Does your stomach feel like it’s holding rocks? Does your chest feel constricted? These physical sensations are emotions and are energetic. Take a moment to put your hand on those areas—you’re giving your body the message that you are listening to it.

In the privacy of your own room, your car, or even the bathroom, take some paper and a pen and write a letter to your husband completely expressing yourself—even shouting on the paper. You’re not going to show him this letter— this exercise is just for you to release all the stuck words in your head and heart. You don’t even have to write legibly, it can be super messy. It’s not for anyone’s eyes but yours.

Then tear up the paper and listen mindfully to the sound of the ripping. Life is a sensory experience and tuning into the sounds in your environment is very grounding to the body.

With this exercise, you’re preventing yourself from ruminating by dropping into your body (noticing the sensations) and letting out your thoughts and feelings freely. This is different than just talking it out with a friend or therapist, even though you can do that too.

Getting honest with yourself about how your body is affected by certain interactions as well as releasing some of the thoughts that swirl in your brain, can help you get wise as to how to move forward. You may hear your intuition sharing what can be done that hasn’t been tried before. Even dropping the attachment to the situation is something—perhaps you’re being triggered from a childhood wound or are future-tripping with your imagination about scary consequences that are simply not true.

Or not. The changes you desire may be very important.

But the first step is to drop into your body. The full somatic release technique—The ROAR! Process— rids the body of resentment and stress and may be of further help to you.

 

2) There are techniques of communication that can help and unfortunately, many women haven’t heard of them.

Some of these, I learned in my coach training with relationship author, Laura Doyle. They were game-changers for me in my marriage. I share a few in this Marriage Magic article: When There’s Tension With Your Husband Around Important Issues, Try This!

According to Kabbalah, men and women are different—there are biological, chemical and brain differences as well as cultural differences. Besides your husband having a different perspective on things, the male culture that he was raised in can be highly shaming and blunt. Vulnerability is not welcomed most of the time. Therefore, your husband may be highly allergic to shame, criticism, negative judgment, and expectation energy from you, his loved one. If you haven’t read your free e-guide, then I encourage you to do that today: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today!

 

3) If your husband is a Borderline/Narcissist, professional help is necessary.

Can people change? Sure. That being said, a marriage with a person who has many Borderline/Narcissist traits takes extra know-how and support. Changing even the dynamics of this kind of relationship is tricky to navigate. I encourage you to download my free e-guide—Escape from the Borderline/ Narcissist’s Web for greater understanding. The web is what you want to escape—the marriage, if you have children and financial dependence, may be necessary to maintain—with hope for change. Further guidance is always needed.

 

As you can see, relationships are very nuanced and people’s emotions are complex. Everyone is looking for love, security, and connection and we didn’t have classes in the art of giving and receiving, communication, and vulnerability in school. And that’s ok. It doesn’t have to be too late to start—it’s just having some tools and know-how to begin. Be kind to yourself in the process.  

Need a helping hand? The Mindbody Marriage Magic path is where it’s not all talk, but an integration of your mind, body, and soul wisdom. I offer Marriage Magic sessions when you desire to increase the emotional safety, love, and connection in your relationship. Please schedule your Free 20-minute Marriage Magic Clarity Call today.

As a Somatic Healer, Relationship Expert & Clarity Coach, I’ve had the privilege of working with amazing clients worldwide. Each one discovers the healing powers of their bodies, the wisdom of their emotions, and the deep connection to their intuition as well as developing skills to create a marriage they love.

For dating: Dating Magic

For working individually or together with your husband (Couples Workshop): Marriage Magic

Please check out Client Love to read testimonials from clients whose lives and relationships have been transformed.

“Dovid, I want you to know that after working together with you and Miriam, my marriage is just so much better. I feel more secure, more loved, and more connected to than ever before—even more than while we were dating.” —A.S., Michigan (Couples Workshop)

“I reached out to Miriam Racquel shortly after I had just gotten married as my marriage was not turning out to be the fairytale I had always dreamed it to be. Within just a few sessions I began feeling so empowered to make positive, lasting changes in my marriage that I had control over, and the wisdom I have accessed through Miriam Racquel’s help has truly transformed my marriage into the playful, passionate one that I have always desired. I love the mind-body healing work that Miriam Racquel infuses into her sessions. These practices have allowed me to release my emotions in a powerful way and give me a great sense of relief, validation, and confidence to help me move forward with love.” —N.C.G., Georgia (Individual Work)

 

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Resources

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Mindbody Wellness For Your Life

3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way – Free E-Guide

Saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”?
People-pleasing to your detriment?
Body’s aches and pains, autoimmune issues, vertigo, insomnia,?

What are your emotions really telling you?
How is your body speaking to you?
What is your intuition whispering?

End burnout for good.

Also, gives you access to another gift e-guide—Escape from the Borderline/ Narcissist’s Web  —If you give your power away in relationships, you and your body will not like the results. So please don’t. One of the most dangerous ways a person gives their power away is in a relationship with a Borderline/Narcissist. The way to prevent this is to recognize early on who these individuals are and make wise, discerning choices in either how to engage with them or best of all, not to engage with them. Emotional blackmail, manipulation and control dominate these toxic relationships, and knowledge and action are the keys to freedom.

6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! – Free E-Guide

Helping women create a beautiful relationship and marriage to come home to, one in which they and their partner bloom to their highest potential in an atmosphere of emotional safety and deep love. 

Empowered Dating for the Enlightened Woman —A Mindbody Wellness Guide  $13.99  

This guide brings you into the wisdom of your body as well as your mind, with practical tips, red flags and other pertinent information to highly discern the partner you are considering to share your life with. You will feel empowered in the dating process as you go on your journey of creating a partnership of love, connection and kindness.

The ROAR! Process – $13.99

Free yourself from the harmful effects of built up resentment, stress, trauma, anxiety and disempowerment. Emotions can flow with greater ease through using the ROAR! Process, an effective somatic release technique that results in a healthier you. Great for releasing stuck energy for both adults and children alike.

The Mindbody Wellness Dating Guide For Frum Women—Questions, Red Flags, Brakes, and The Good Stuff

$13.99 

This guide brings the Orthodox Jewish dating woman into the wisdom of her body as well as her mind, with questions, red flags and other pertinent information to highly discern the partner she is considering to share her life with. With this guide I hope to do my part in helping women have a strong foundation and feel empowered to build a partnership of love, connection, kindness and kiddusha.

The Mindbody Wellness Dating Guide For Frum Women—Questions, Red Flags, Brakes, and The Good Stuff Mindbody Wellness Dating Guide For Frum Women—Questions, Red Flags, Brakes, and The Good Stuff – Print Edition – $28.99

mailed directly to your home. With this investment, you get the beautifully designed colored online copy and printed copy.

 

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Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?

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Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?

Mindbody Wellness Clarity Tips

Dear Awesome Woman,

Are You Your Own Energy Vampire?

At times, I really am my own energy vampire.  An energy vampire is someone who drains your energy – whether it’s mental, emotional or even spiritual.  After spending time with them, and it doesn’t have to be a lot, you feel exhausted.

Maybe the person talks endlessly about their own issues without regard for you as a listener, or is always negative and making themselves a victim of all their circumstances. All of us at times need to vent and complain, but energy vampires do this all the time in a relationship.

Or maybe they try to make you feel guilty or use emotional blackmail (Emotional Blackmail—What It Is And Why You Need to Know About It)to try to get you to do what they want.

Ahh, but I have discovered that I can be my own worst energy vampire. Sometimes, when I find myself drained and exhausted, I look around and it is only me in the room.

When I disregard a negative feeling after an interaction with someone and instead, give myself a guilt trip for feeling what I feel – that is me emotionally blackmailing me.

Remember, sensations hold information and feelings contain valuable messages. If I judge myself for what I am feeling instead of accepting and allowing the emotion and hearing what it is telling me, then I will feel drained.

For example, if a friend at the last minute cancels a long-awaited lunch date, do you hang up the phone and berate yourself for feeling disappointed? Or do you recognize the “ bubble-burst” sensation and hurt emotion and then allow yourself the gift of compassion for having been let down?

Taking a deep breath in and sitting with these feelings for even one moment is an act of kindness towards yourself. You can take time to notice whether the disappointment needs to be shared with the friend or just acknowledged within yourself as a rare occurrence in a trusted relationship. Or do the ROAR Process, a somatic release technique I developed specifically to help process and let go of grief, disappointment, anger, resentment, and trauma. This technique helps prevent emotional energy from getting stuck in the body and causing a whole host of physical ailments and pain (G-d forbid).

There are other times that feeling exhausted results from spending too much time imagining the most dreadful outcome of something that hasn’t even happened yet. This will suck the energy right out of you.  All that negative thinking is so draining.

Yes, a circumstance may look bleak, but G-d is amazingly creative and the Master of possibilities.  You can recognize that you’re fearful of the future, and vent that fear on paper, rip it up and release those thoughts to the wind.

You can also allow your inner child to have a temper tantrum or a fear-fest.

There are so many ways to process emotions and overwhelming thoughts so that you feel vital afterwards instead of exhausted (please schedule a Clarity call for more info).

Flooding oneself with a list of gratitudes for the many blessings that you have is also energizing as long as you’re not suppressing emotions. Bringing awareness to situations and people who you can be grateful for actually increases dopamine levels which result in uplifting your mind, body and spirit.

As psychiatrist, Dr. Judith Orloff, says “Take control.  Get in the driver’s seat. Create a circle of positive people around you.” She is referring to external energy vampires, but this advice can also apply to one’s own internal one.

Take control by choosing to create a circle of positivity for yourself.

Allow yourself the time to feel all your emotions, not to necessarily act on them, but to feel them honestly without censor.

Process your fears and limit the time spent “prophesizing” the worst-case scenarios.

Be kind to yourself for being on this funky journey called life.

Grab some gratitude and notice blessings in your life. Never take anything for granted. What’s here today can be gone tomorrow.

Be your own best friend and kiss that internal energy vampire goodbye!

Need a helping hand? Schedule your free Clarity Call today! As a Somatic Healer, Clarity Coach and Relationship Expert, I help empower women to break free of unhealthy relationship patterns in their lives. This could be specific to the toxic patterns in relationships with Borderline/Narcissists or other controlling personalities. Through learning to trust the wisdom of their bodies, emotions, souls, and intuition, women discover a clear, healthy path to empowerment, vitality and joy. I also specialize in dating and marriage help as well as empowering women in their recovery from trauma, grief, anxiety, and physical pain ailments. 

Here’s a free e-guide for you: “3 Secrets to Solve Burnout and Get Energized the Mindbody Wellness Way”(also gives access to your free download of “Escape from the Borderline/Narcissist’s Web”). 

If you’d like more connection and fun in your marriage, download your free gift e-guide: 6 Simple Tips to Up the Vibe of Your Marriage Today! 

If you’re dating, there are beautiful resources for you as well. 

Sharing a few testimonials from clients whose lives have been transformed and you can check out more @Client Love.

“I came to Miriam looking for help recovering from a painful breakup with a covert narcissist that I’d been suffering over for far too long. I realized that I’d not only been struggling from my most recent relationship but also from my childhood relationship with my father, which I thought I’d dealt with years ago. I learned that I had energy stuck in my body from real traumas I’d experienced, which talk alone was just not able to process. Miriam helped me with real-time processing in my body and clearing the immediate pain, as well as healing the source of my unhealthy relationship choices, and gave me tools for compassionately helping myself when difficult emotions arise in the future, leaving me feeling stable and self-assured about myself and my future.” – T.H., Colorado

“I was referred to Miriam by a friend to help me gain clarity, wisdom, and understanding after exiting an abusive relationship with a narcissist.  Miriam’s approach encompasses connecting the mind, body, and soul through a modality of techniques including discussions, deep thinking, and engaging the senses in a cathartic way.  After each session, I feel revitalized, and I have a sense of calmness and peace.” – L.P., Connecticut

 

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Wellness Guide

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